I don't want to get your hopes all atwitter that I'll be able to post after every single BB episode this season - I may have to combine some recaps. But for once, this season is so juicy right off the bat, that I couldn't resist doing another recap tonight.
EPISODE RECAP:
Brian and the House -
Brian goes all puppetmaster on the house and decides to strike bargains with/strong arm every player in the house who's not in his alliance or on the block. Whoa, dude. You're comin' on a little strong here. You don't just take a lady to dinner and stick your hand down her shirt as soon as the soup's served. You have to have a little finesse. Same thing with bullying houseguests. The season's only a couple days old, just sit back and let a few chips fall before you lay down your hand.
Ollie and April -
A showmance is already in bloom. The blonde bimbo and the ex-virgin. Oh, Ollie you're so transparent, almost as much so as April's bikini. But, oops! You're in a "top-secret" man-power alliance. I hope your boobie buddy doesn't find out about this.
Veto Competition -
The players have to swim through a pit of honey while wearing pajamas in order to tear apart feather pillows, and then swim through more honey. Something about whoever retrieves some teddy bears the fastest wins. But who really knows, because this entire stunt was written by a horny intern who thought the best idea in the world would be to dress the already buxom boobalicious women in nighties, soak them in honey, and then get them to take part in what resembles a naughty pillow fight. Followed by more soaking in honey. The cameramen are clearly down for this, as we get many glistening, bouncing shots of boobies.
Oh yeah, the competition you ask? Pinhead Jessie won. And then tore his shirt off. Gross. No one wanted to see that. Why won't you just go home already?
Ollie and the Women -
The 3-man alliance has been careless. They remind me of the type of guys who'd knock over a liquor store, but video tape the whole thing, and then go to school the next day and tell all their friends about it and pass the tape around school. And then post it on YouTube. Subtle, guys. Real subtle. Ollie's the one who gets his minerals caught in a vise for this first. The women snare him in a web and sic April on him to tear him to shreds for not revealing his alliance. Ollie senses danger and immediately flips on his alliance, and agrees to side with the women. Which actually is pretty smart. He earns definite power player points in my book.
Jerry and the House -
The whole house, minus the sausage alliance, waits outside Jerry's HOH door to jump him as soon as he heads into his room. They all let him know that Brian needs to go up as the veto replacement since he's been playing people too much, too hard, too early in the game. I'm so proud of these guys I could plotz. After 9 seasons, FINALLY, one cast has learned how to play the game. This is great!
Veto Ceremony -
Jessie takes himself off the block, and thankfully doesn't tear any clothing from his body or flex his muscles the whole way through. A first for him. Really. Jerry announces he's putting Brian on the block. Dan (Brian's alliance partner) looks like he pooped his pants. Everyone is happy, but Jerry, who keeps babbling about letting down the Marines. Does he know what the Marines are? What they do? Does he know that the other people in the house aren't Marines? That the producers aren't Marines? Because I'm really starting to think that he thinks everyone who pressures him is anti-Marine, and therefore a friend of Hitler. The lights are on at Jerry's house, but no one's home.
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