Happy February 29! On this special non-holiday in which we celebrate amazing leaps throughout history, I want to wish you and yours a very safe day of leaping.
Happy Leap Day!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Lost Thoughts: "The Constant"
Wow. Wow. Wow. That episode was full of information, so I'll go ahead and take a crack at it for you (while still grinning about it all):
Side Effects -
So anyone flyin' to or from the island may encounter side effects, eh? Worse than ED or gambling urges? Oh yeah. Twitchy Daniel tried to warn Pilot Frank, but it's not always easy staying on the exact course when you're flying through a thunderstorm. So apparently even a half-degree variation in course will affect some people. Why not all people? Either way, this is f-ed up. Man, is Sayid lucky he didn't start flashing back to the Gulf War - talk about dodging a bullet...yuk, yuk, yuk.
Anyone for Some Desertion?
Well now we know why Desmond ended up in military prison and received a dishonorable discharge way back when - desertion! He deserted because IslandDesmond needed Penn's phone number and had to go find Papa Widmore ASAP. Now this is all starting to come together. Of course this means that Desmond has a "history" with time travel and knows even way back when his destiny is to enter that race, get stranded on that island, and call Penn on Christmas Eve 2004 - it's the way back to her, the only way (ok, maybe he doesn't know the exact details, but he knows not to deviate from the course taking him to that boat!). He has to follow this fated course or he'll never make the call he's supposed to and get her back. (Why do I feel like I've been running in circles?)
Desmond Goes Auctioning -
Much to my surprise, when MilitaryDesmond can't immediately reach Penny he doesn't search out her favorite haunts, or call her friends. He looks for Papa Widmore. That's a bit odd. And how did Desmond know to look for him at that auction? It's not like he showed up at Papa Widmore's home or business. I wonder if something more will come out about that....
The Black Rock -
What a jaw-dropping scene, as the writers just shovel heaps of information on us. So the Black Rock set sail on March 22, 1845 from England, heading for Siam. Then this "journal" turns up 7 years later in Madagascar. Now the geography makes sense, since the boat likely would've headed south around Africa and past Madagascar. But the 7-year lag makes me wonder, was there was any time jump, as in Desmond's 8-year flashes in this episode?
Dear Diary -
The Black Rock "journal" - as it was advertised - actually read "LEDGER" on the spine. Now, why would a first-mate be using a ledger for the ship as a journal? Since only a few exclusive people have read it (ahem, Avard Hanso - Man of Mystery), who called it a journal and are they lying about its contents? And why does Papa Widmore want the "journal" exactly? Is he really interested in the history of the Black Rock (in connection with the island)? Or is this a corporate issue where he wants his hands on what belonged to the Hanso Foundation - Foundation of Mystery?? This "journal" is sure to be tantalizing whenever we get to peek at the pages!
The Fabulous Minkowski! -
Well once IslandDesmond's shenangians land him in the "medical ward" we finally get to meet Minkowski the Mysterious! And he's a little sweaty squirrelly dude tied down to a bed. I feel very much like the curtain's been pulled back to reveal the great and powerful Wizard of Oz (which is appropriate, since I feel that way often about this show's revelations, and since the show references the Wizard of Oz often...). So Minkowski was just their communications dude (the Boater's answer to the Others' Mikhail - obviously communications operator is very deadly work). So Minkowski isn't actually refusing calls, so much as he's "tied up" for the time being. Har har. Did his little boat buddy, Brandon, die of the same "side effect"? Or did someone/something else kill him? If Brandon died from the side effect, why did it effect him so much quicker?
You Never Call, You Never Write -
Again, we have more answers about Desmond's "past". After hearing Desmond promise with all his heart that he won't call Penny for 8 years, now we understand better why he never called her from prison (after being detained for desertion). Notice that he only wrote letters to her - letters that were intercepted by Papa Widmore (as if that could fool Penn!). I always wondered why he never picked up the phone, and now we know!
Side Effects -
So anyone flyin' to or from the island may encounter side effects, eh? Worse than ED or gambling urges? Oh yeah. Twitchy Daniel tried to warn Pilot Frank, but it's not always easy staying on the exact course when you're flying through a thunderstorm. So apparently even a half-degree variation in course will affect some people. Why not all people? Either way, this is f-ed up. Man, is Sayid lucky he didn't start flashing back to the Gulf War - talk about dodging a bullet...yuk, yuk, yuk.
Anyone for Some Desertion?
Well now we know why Desmond ended up in military prison and received a dishonorable discharge way back when - desertion! He deserted because IslandDesmond needed Penn's phone number and had to go find Papa Widmore ASAP. Now this is all starting to come together. Of course this means that Desmond has a "history" with time travel and knows even way back when his destiny is to enter that race, get stranded on that island, and call Penn on Christmas Eve 2004 - it's the way back to her, the only way (ok, maybe he doesn't know the exact details, but he knows not to deviate from the course taking him to that boat!). He has to follow this fated course or he'll never make the call he's supposed to and get her back. (Why do I feel like I've been running in circles?)
Desmond Goes Auctioning -
Much to my surprise, when MilitaryDesmond can't immediately reach Penny he doesn't search out her favorite haunts, or call her friends. He looks for Papa Widmore. That's a bit odd. And how did Desmond know to look for him at that auction? It's not like he showed up at Papa Widmore's home or business. I wonder if something more will come out about that....
The Black Rock -
What a jaw-dropping scene, as the writers just shovel heaps of information on us. So the Black Rock set sail on March 22, 1845 from England, heading for Siam. Then this "journal" turns up 7 years later in Madagascar. Now the geography makes sense, since the boat likely would've headed south around Africa and past Madagascar. But the 7-year lag makes me wonder, was there was any time jump, as in Desmond's 8-year flashes in this episode?
Dear Diary -
The Black Rock "journal" - as it was advertised - actually read "LEDGER" on the spine. Now, why would a first-mate be using a ledger for the ship as a journal? Since only a few exclusive people have read it (ahem, Avard Hanso - Man of Mystery), who called it a journal and are they lying about its contents? And why does Papa Widmore want the "journal" exactly? Is he really interested in the history of the Black Rock (in connection with the island)? Or is this a corporate issue where he wants his hands on what belonged to the Hanso Foundation - Foundation of Mystery?? This "journal" is sure to be tantalizing whenever we get to peek at the pages!
The Fabulous Minkowski! -
Well once IslandDesmond's shenangians land him in the "medical ward" we finally get to meet Minkowski the Mysterious! And he's a little sweaty squirrelly dude tied down to a bed. I feel very much like the curtain's been pulled back to reveal the great and powerful Wizard of Oz (which is appropriate, since I feel that way often about this show's revelations, and since the show references the Wizard of Oz often...). So Minkowski was just their communications dude (the Boater's answer to the Others' Mikhail - obviously communications operator is very deadly work). So Minkowski isn't actually refusing calls, so much as he's "tied up" for the time being. Har har. Did his little boat buddy, Brandon, die of the same "side effect"? Or did someone/something else kill him? If Brandon died from the side effect, why did it effect him so much quicker?
You Never Call, You Never Write -
Again, we have more answers about Desmond's "past". After hearing Desmond promise with all his heart that he won't call Penny for 8 years, now we understand better why he never called her from prison (after being detained for desertion). Notice that he only wrote letters to her - letters that were intercepted by Papa Widmore (as if that could fool Penn!). I always wondered why he never picked up the phone, and now we know!
3-2-1 Contact!
Hooray, another tear-jerking moment where true love conquers all and two are united again. Thank goodness Sayid the Handyman was on hand to fix all of that equipment. You have to wonder though, who trashed all of the communication equipment and why? Minkowski indicated that the Captain wouldn't be pleased. Why would someone defy the Captain? More proof that not all the Boaters are working in tandem with eachother.
Time and Time Again -
Okay, so there's obviously some time issues we're dealing with here. I still believe it's not exactly time travel, so much as time dilation - the idea that if time moves faster for some people (without them realizing it), then they will appear to be jumping into the future compared to places where time isn't moving so fast. And vice versa. (Think "Flight of the Navigator", and how the little boy rocketed through space so fast that when he returned to earth a couple hours later, 10 years had passed). Don't ask me why or how. There are still too many pieces of the puzzle missing to bring it all together.
Let's Do the Time Warp Again -
So all of this time warping makes people appear ill and die, eh? Bloody noses. Illness. Death.
Sound familiar? Could it be that Rousseau's team's illness and resulting death was actually a bad case of the time warps? If so, this proves that there is no illness, and that all of the quarantine warnings are the result of deception or misunderstanding.
THINGS YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED:
- Penny lives at 423 Cheyne Walk, and you can reach her at 7946 0893.
- The item up for bid at the auction after the Black Rock "journal" is "an oriental chest in the posession of Charles Dickens when he died". Charles Dickens is the author of "Our Mutual Friend" - the book Desmond is saving as the last words he ever reads.
- Desmond is instructed to go to 1996 Oxford and find the Queen's College physics deparment to get Daniel's help. In the "His Dark Materials" series of books (which includes "The Golden Compass"), the main character must travel to an alternate world's Oxford to seek out a physics professor at the University to get her help. Just like Desmond.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Askville Answer of the Week
I don't know where this one came from. But I'm hungry for pizza right now, so this is what you get.
I'm always hanging around www.askville.com. So if you stop in, be sure to give PenguinSage a big fat "hello" - and tell her the pineapple sent ya!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
File this under stupid things not to do....
Blame it on the cabin fever. But I decided to try something that on the outset seemed inventive and resourceful. In hindsight this was one of the stupidest things I've ever tried.
Concerned about the extra baby flab I still have, I followed an online article's instructions to trim inches off of my arm girth by using...coffee. Theoretically, according to this mean, cruel article, you could do this to any body part. Thankfully, I just stuck with one arm.
Here's what you're supposed to do:
1. Rub dry fresh coffee on the flabby part of body.
2. Wrap in Saran Wrap.
3. Sit in steaming hot bathroom for 1/2 hour.
4. Unwrap, wipe off, and remeasure to find that you have miraculously trimmed 1-3" off of your girth!
I thought this might work, I swear! It came from a coffee manufacturer's website for cryin' outloud! So like a moron I went out and bought - that's right bought! - a can of coffee last night. I spent 6 lousy stinkin' dollars on it.
Then this morning I sat like a sweating sow rubbed in coffee for a full 1/2 hour. Whaddaya think happened? I'll give you a hint - it ends in me kicking the garbage can a whole bunch.
And now I stink like coffee! My bathroom stinks like coffee! My dustbuster stinks like coffee! Even my pug stinks like coffee! (which apparently is fine by him...) I showered twice and my skin STILL stinks like coffee! I can't escape it...I keep running in circles to try to outstrip it, but it still follows me!
And what's more - let me tell you this my friend, so you may learn from my stupid, stupid experiment - coffee gets everywhere! You sweep it up, you turn around - and there's more! It multiplies!
Ugh, I need a hobby...and a new dustbuster...
Concerned about the extra baby flab I still have, I followed an online article's instructions to trim inches off of my arm girth by using...coffee. Theoretically, according to this mean, cruel article, you could do this to any body part. Thankfully, I just stuck with one arm.
Here's what you're supposed to do:
1. Rub dry fresh coffee on the flabby part of body.
2. Wrap in Saran Wrap.
3. Sit in steaming hot bathroom for 1/2 hour.
4. Unwrap, wipe off, and remeasure to find that you have miraculously trimmed 1-3" off of your girth!
I thought this might work, I swear! It came from a coffee manufacturer's website for cryin' outloud! So like a moron I went out and bought - that's right bought! - a can of coffee last night. I spent 6 lousy stinkin' dollars on it.
Then this morning I sat like a sweating sow rubbed in coffee for a full 1/2 hour. Whaddaya think happened? I'll give you a hint - it ends in me kicking the garbage can a whole bunch.
And now I stink like coffee! My bathroom stinks like coffee! My dustbuster stinks like coffee! Even my pug stinks like coffee! (which apparently is fine by him...) I showered twice and my skin STILL stinks like coffee! I can't escape it...I keep running in circles to try to outstrip it, but it still follows me!
And what's more - let me tell you this my friend, so you may learn from my stupid, stupid experiment - coffee gets everywhere! You sweep it up, you turn around - and there's more! It multiplies!
Ugh, I need a hobby...and a new dustbuster...
Monday, February 25, 2008
Just so you know why...
Every now and then this blog goes stagnant for a couple days and I get complaints. Why haven't you posted yet? When will you post next? What's taking so long? What's that smell?
Well people, I thought I'd share with you the reason there might ever be any delays in getting a blog post up:
Rest assured that I regularly post lots of new material frequently. Sometimes it just comes out in spurts and slurps. (Why on earth does that sound so dirty?)
Well people, I thought I'd share with you the reason there might ever be any delays in getting a blog post up:
Rest assured that I regularly post lots of new material frequently. Sometimes it just comes out in spurts and slurps. (Why on earth does that sound so dirty?) So stop yelling "dance monkey, dance!" at me. Because my wee baby is yelling the same thing.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Woolly Lists - Top Ten Smartest TV Show of All-Time
MENSA-schmensa! Just because they sit up on high and judge the rest of us, doesn't mean they can judge our tv, too! Here's my list, obviously the more intelligent choice:
10. Get Smart - Anything that Mel Brooks lays his hands on deserves attention. And this witty send-up of spy thrillers really earns a lot of big laughs. Cheeky and clever.
9. Junkyward Wars - This game show challenged real-life contestants to work together and build machines or contraptions out of junkyard rubbish. It required scientific thinking, mechanical know-how, and a clever mind to build the best contraption and keep us so entertained at the same time. Who knew science could be so much fun?
8. The Mole - Stop cringing! This reality show actually was very intelligent. Contestants participated in daily games of physical and mental endurance to build up a prize money jackpot, knowing that there is a "mole" in their midst who is secretly sabotaging their efforts. Players are elminated based on not only their guess of who the mole is, but also how well they've kept track of the mole's activities.
7. The X-Files - This show just oozed smartness, sometimes literally. The writing always kept us guessing and challenged our perceptions of our world and universe.
6. Seinfeld - The show about nothing. And everything. It's the show about us and our flaws and failures. It made us see how ugly we can be, and made us laugh about it.
5. Arrested Development -The writing was so sensational, so bizarre, and so flat-out humorous that it makes other shows look like amateurs. Now this was real comedy.
4. All in the Family - Ground-breaking. Gasp-inducing. Funny. This show crossed the line over and over and made us laugh at our own flaws time and again. Astonishingly clever and unafraid.
3. M*A*S*H - This show always amazes me at how it can be so funny, and yet so dramatically sad at the same time. The writers and directors knew how to sway moods carefully to elicit the right emotional response.
2. The Daily Show - A fake news show is one of the most trusted news sources for millions of viewers. What does that tell you about its ability to report real news and events, lambaste the issues, and make us laugh at the same time?
1. Lost - Who didn't see this coming? It's a giant puzzle wrapped in a riddle. The show is an ever-changing thatrical-release quality masterpiece of science-fiction, mystery, and human condition. The characters are superbly developed and complex, the writing keeps us on our toes, and the plot leaps off the screen into a world beyond our television sets. Interaction with the show continues on websites, hotline phonenumbers, jigsaw puzzles, podcasts, and a number of other mediums. We're not just watching this show - we're playing a game, too. Absolute brilliance.
10. Get Smart - Anything that Mel Brooks lays his hands on deserves attention. And this witty send-up of spy thrillers really earns a lot of big laughs. Cheeky and clever.
9. Junkyward Wars - This game show challenged real-life contestants to work together and build machines or contraptions out of junkyard rubbish. It required scientific thinking, mechanical know-how, and a clever mind to build the best contraption and keep us so entertained at the same time. Who knew science could be so much fun?
8. The Mole - Stop cringing! This reality show actually was very intelligent. Contestants participated in daily games of physical and mental endurance to build up a prize money jackpot, knowing that there is a "mole" in their midst who is secretly sabotaging their efforts. Players are elminated based on not only their guess of who the mole is, but also how well they've kept track of the mole's activities.
7. The X-Files - This show just oozed smartness, sometimes literally. The writing always kept us guessing and challenged our perceptions of our world and universe.
6. Seinfeld - The show about nothing. And everything. It's the show about us and our flaws and failures. It made us see how ugly we can be, and made us laugh about it.
5. Arrested Development -The writing was so sensational, so bizarre, and so flat-out humorous that it makes other shows look like amateurs. Now this was real comedy.
4. All in the Family - Ground-breaking. Gasp-inducing. Funny. This show crossed the line over and over and made us laugh at our own flaws time and again. Astonishingly clever and unafraid.
3. M*A*S*H - This show always amazes me at how it can be so funny, and yet so dramatically sad at the same time. The writers and directors knew how to sway moods carefully to elicit the right emotional response.
2. The Daily Show - A fake news show is one of the most trusted news sources for millions of viewers. What does that tell you about its ability to report real news and events, lambaste the issues, and make us laugh at the same time?
1. Lost - Who didn't see this coming? It's a giant puzzle wrapped in a riddle. The show is an ever-changing thatrical-release quality masterpiece of science-fiction, mystery, and human condition. The characters are superbly developed and complex, the writing keeps us on our toes, and the plot leaps off the screen into a world beyond our television sets. Interaction with the show continues on websites, hotline phonenumbers, jigsaw puzzles, podcasts, and a number of other mediums. We're not just watching this show - we're playing a game, too. Absolute brilliance.What is MENSA smokin'?
The Chairman of MENSA recently released a list of the Top Ten Smartest TV Shows of All-Time. Here's what he picked:
1. M*A*S*H
2. Cosmos
3. CSI
4. House
5. The West Wing
6. Boston Legal
7. All in the Family
8. Frasier
9. Mad About You
10. Jeopardy!
Pardon me while my face and limbs stop twitching. Mad About You?
The MENSA Chairmen, a 63 year-old government official, claims that he does listen to about 10 hours of television per day while it plays in the background of his daily activities. And he "pays attention" to about 6 hours worth. So it would seem he's actually watched Mad About You. And House. But you wouldn't know it by the distinctions he's given them. Yikes.
Here are my problems with a few of his selections:
3. CSI - Here's my big problem with this show: I solve all of the crimes 1/2 hour before the detectives do. And I don't need any unnecessary glow-in-the-dark gadgets or special computer imaging to do it. My pug is smarter than this show.
4. House - The show is only enjoyable for the first two episodes you see. It is so formulaic that it's the same episode over and over again. Can I get a House madlib over here?
Normal person with painful/disgusting symptoms enters hospital. House is reluctantly called in. They perform tests. Tests don't give answers. So House calls for controversial test that the administration doesn't approve of. House pops pills and limps. Controversial test is a success - but just barely. Patient has exotic condition caused by everyday habit or happening.
6. Boston Legal - Clever, yes. Funny, sometimes. But among the smartest shows of all-time? Not even close. Me thinks that Mr. Chairman has trouble focusing his mind beyond the here and now. This show may be trendy and popular right now, but it will soon fade into television obscurity as nothing especially intelligent or special.
10. Mad About You - I never knew in-law jokes, parenting humor, and awkward pratfalls were so brainy! Oh wait, that's right - they're not. This was a very ho-hum completely average sitcom. Worthy of viewing on Lifetime in the middle of the afternoon. But not exactly brain candy either. Com'on, you know Einstein would've just hated Helen Hunt.The rest of his list is debatable. I can see his reasoning with at least a few of them - I'll give him M*A*S*H, and All in the Family. But otherwise this guy's out to lunch. Just goes to show that it does not, in fact, take one to know one.
Mad-Lib Genius!
Mad-libs are calling. And I'm here to answer. This is a LOST Mad-Lib that I found, thanks to the amazing and talented folks at this website.
Look, now we can all be LOST writers!
I wonder what Locke would think if he knew THIS was the secret to the island?
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Lost Thoughts: "Eggtown"
Ah cripes, a Kate-centric episode. That's the last thing I need since Kate makes me roll my eyes and give my tv the finger. This wasn't a thrill ride of an episode, but we did get a few key revelations. So here's what I thought of the whole thing, Kate's buck teeth and all...
Last of the Eggs -
It was like a replay of the Season 2 episode, "Maternity Leave", in which Ben sits locked in the Swan station gun vault calling himself Henry Gale and poking at Locke's confidence and taunting his insecurities about power, control, and purpose. Same deal here, just a different name. Ben's battered and tied up in a holding room . Locke's bringing him food and a book to read (last time it was "The Brothers Karamozov"). And then Ben worms his way into Locke's mind. And Locke claims not to fall for it, then walks right out of the room and starts throwing dishes loudly, affirming to Ben that his mind games are working. Happened back in the Swan, and it's happening exactly the same all over again underneath Ben's own house. Except that this time Locke takes down not only the dishes, but the last friggin' plate of eggs on the entire island. Way to go!
The Long Arm of Justice -
Well, well, well. We've been wondering if Future Kate was going to answer for her criminal past. They nicely swept it under the rug this episode with a drawn out explanation for a plea bargain of no time served. Conveeeeenient that her mom is somehow still living to recant her testimony. Lucky Kate. And really, lucky us. Did we really want to sit through a trial? But seriously, why does Kate need to stay in the state?
The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth -
We finally get to here Future Jack's official abbreviated version of what happened after the crash. Apparently only "8 survived". And Hero Future Kate saved six of them all by her lonesome. And she did everything she could for the other two. Who are the other two who were supposed to have initially survived the crash? And what is Jack's story about how they eventually croaked? Why such an elaborate lie?
It's a Boy! -
So Future Kate has a little son - named Aaron. Presumably Claire's Aaron. And then the questions start spinning so quickly in my brain that I get a headache. I postulate that Claire
must be dead to be separated from her son. So what happened to Claire?? And why can't Jack can't stand the sight of little Aaron? Especially if it means not being able to see the woman he apparently still loves (you know, Bucktooth). I'm guessing now that Claire did die, and however she died makes Jack feel so guilty that it's what eventually drives him to grow a fake shaggy beard and start pill poppin'. How did they pull off the whole story of Kate being his real mommy? Did the Oceanic Six all take a vote and agree that Kate would raise him? How did she get the job?
File Under Overly Elaborate Plots -
This part was a bit hard for me to swallow. So, Kate is willing to sneak into see Miles, covertly discover Ben's hidden location, and then bring tied-up Miles to see tied-up Ben, allowing them one minute to talk without previous explanation? All so she can find out what the Boaters know about her? To me it seems a little contrived for Kate to be so desperate for this information that would've become apparent down the road with a little more patience. Was she just bored?
Not Tonight Baby, I Have a Headache -
So Sawyer got used...again. And he doesn't mind at all so long as he gets a little nookie and some acknowledgement from Kate. But she won't deliver on either. So he's left waiting for her to come back. What made Kate change her mind and want to leave the Lockettes all of a sudden? Sawyer offered to protect her, she had comfy living quarters, and it wasn't, as the show hinted, that she was actually pregnant (or at least we're pretty sure she wasn't...). So what changed her mind from a few days previous when she agreed to play house? And how on earth can that woman kick Sawyer out of bed? Bad Bucktooth, bad!
Daniel's Playing Cards -
I guess Daniel the Twitchy Physicist is having some memory problems since he can't recall the suits or numbers of three different playing cards. Interesting. The island is supposed to have healing properties. Pretty rare to hear of it causing impairment (you know, except for the whole pregnant women dying thing). Why is Twitchy having short-term memory issues? And is it only him, or the other on-island Boaters, too?
Breakfast of Champions -
Let's see, what would Miles like for breakfast, what would Miles like for breakfast? I know! A live grenade wedged in his mouth! Well, Locke did say they were out of eggs. What, oh what will Miles have to tell Locke once that grenade is removed? Maybe we'll find out why he's after $3.2 million. Even Ben thought it was odd - he doesn't want 3.1 or 3.3. Why 3.2? Could this be a code he's secretly delivering to Ben?
THINGS YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED:
Last of the Eggs -
It was like a replay of the Season 2 episode, "Maternity Leave", in which Ben sits locked in the Swan station gun vault calling himself Henry Gale and poking at Locke's confidence and taunting his insecurities about power, control, and purpose. Same deal here, just a different name. Ben's battered and tied up in a holding room . Locke's bringing him food and a book to read (last time it was "The Brothers Karamozov"). And then Ben worms his way into Locke's mind. And Locke claims not to fall for it, then walks right out of the room and starts throwing dishes loudly, affirming to Ben that his mind games are working. Happened back in the Swan, and it's happening exactly the same all over again underneath Ben's own house. Except that this time Locke takes down not only the dishes, but the last friggin' plate of eggs on the entire island. Way to go!
The Long Arm of Justice -
Well, well, well. We've been wondering if Future Kate was going to answer for her criminal past. They nicely swept it under the rug this episode with a drawn out explanation for a plea bargain of no time served. Conveeeeenient that her mom is somehow still living to recant her testimony. Lucky Kate. And really, lucky us. Did we really want to sit through a trial? But seriously, why does Kate need to stay in the state?
The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth -
We finally get to here Future Jack's official abbreviated version of what happened after the crash. Apparently only "8 survived". And Hero Future Kate saved six of them all by her lonesome. And she did everything she could for the other two. Who are the other two who were supposed to have initially survived the crash? And what is Jack's story about how they eventually croaked? Why such an elaborate lie?
It's a Boy! -
So Future Kate has a little son - named Aaron. Presumably Claire's Aaron. And then the questions start spinning so quickly in my brain that I get a headache. I postulate that Claire
must be dead to be separated from her son. So what happened to Claire?? And why can't Jack can't stand the sight of little Aaron? Especially if it means not being able to see the woman he apparently still loves (you know, Bucktooth). I'm guessing now that Claire did die, and however she died makes Jack feel so guilty that it's what eventually drives him to grow a fake shaggy beard and start pill poppin'. How did they pull off the whole story of Kate being his real mommy? Did the Oceanic Six all take a vote and agree that Kate would raise him? How did she get the job?File Under Overly Elaborate Plots -
This part was a bit hard for me to swallow. So, Kate is willing to sneak into see Miles, covertly discover Ben's hidden location, and then bring tied-up Miles to see tied-up Ben, allowing them one minute to talk without previous explanation? All so she can find out what the Boaters know about her? To me it seems a little contrived for Kate to be so desperate for this information that would've become apparent down the road with a little more patience. Was she just bored?
Not Tonight Baby, I Have a Headache -
So Sawyer got used...again. And he doesn't mind at all so long as he gets a little nookie and some acknowledgement from Kate. But she won't deliver on either. So he's left waiting for her to come back. What made Kate change her mind and want to leave the Lockettes all of a sudden? Sawyer offered to protect her, she had comfy living quarters, and it wasn't, as the show hinted, that she was actually pregnant (or at least we're pretty sure she wasn't...). So what changed her mind from a few days previous when she agreed to play house? And how on earth can that woman kick Sawyer out of bed? Bad Bucktooth, bad!
Daniel's Playing Cards -
I guess Daniel the Twitchy Physicist is having some memory problems since he can't recall the suits or numbers of three different playing cards. Interesting. The island is supposed to have healing properties. Pretty rare to hear of it causing impairment (you know, except for the whole pregnant women dying thing). Why is Twitchy having short-term memory issues? And is it only him, or the other on-island Boaters, too?
Breakfast of Champions -
Let's see, what would Miles like for breakfast, what would Miles like for breakfast? I know! A live grenade wedged in his mouth! Well, Locke did say they were out of eggs. What, oh what will Miles have to tell Locke once that grenade is removed? Maybe we'll find out why he's after $3.2 million. Even Ben thought it was odd - he doesn't want 3.1 or 3.3. Why 3.2? Could this be a code he's secretly delivering to Ben?
THINGS YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED:
- This isn't the first time Daniel displayed signs of memory loss. When he first parachuted in he had trouble recalling his name and other details. And we thought he was being coy...
- Jin wants to move to Albuquerque. That is where Cassidy and Clementine are living (Sawyer's ex-girlfriend and daughter).
- Claire's psychic told her that Claire must be the one to raise the baby. And now we know she doesn't. Kate does. Eek.
- On a note unrelated to this episode: I'm renting the movie "Frequency". It features two actors from this show - Shawn Doyle (Kate's lawyer) and Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet). Elizabeth's character in the movie is named...Julia/Jules! And Shawn Doyle's character's name? Jack Shepard! Not to mention that it's a movie about time travel via radio contact.
The OCEANIC SIX
1. Jack
2. Kate
3. Hurley
4. Sayid
5. Aaron
6. ?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Ode to Richard Simmons
Well, it's been 6 months since I had my baby girl. And I still (feel like I) look like a whale. But cloudy skies are hopefully gonna clear up thanks to my new best friend, Richard Simmons. I'm sweatin' to the oldies, baby!
And it's all because I saw one of his late-night ads and finally got to call one of those 1-800 commercials on tv. You know, the "but wait, there's more!" ads. The idea of calling was so much fun! Of course, the actually calling? Not so much. Lots of ads within the call, and lots of waiting...waiting... waiting. I just want to sweat to the oldies, people! Or maybe some disco!
Well, hallelujah, after weeks of waiting and one endless marketing phonecall I finally have my "Sweatin' to the Oldies" and "Disco Sweat" dvds - all of which had been previously unreleased on dvd, thank you very much!
So to thank the stars above for my new workout videos, I have composed a poem. It is an ode to Richard Simmons. In iambic pentameter.
And it's all because I saw one of his late-night ads and finally got to call one of those 1-800 commercials on tv. You know, the "but wait, there's more!" ads. The idea of calling was so much fun! Of course, the actually calling? Not so much. Lots of ads within the call, and lots of waiting...waiting... waiting. I just want to sweat to the oldies, people! Or maybe some disco!
Well, hallelujah, after weeks of waiting and one endless marketing phonecall I finally have my "Sweatin' to the Oldies" and "Disco Sweat" dvds - all of which had been previously unreleased on dvd, thank you very much!
So to thank the stars above for my new workout videos, I have composed a poem. It is an ode to Richard Simmons. In iambic pentameter.
Ode to Richard Simmons
Oh fuzzy little caffeinated sprite,
Your stripes and sequins so dazzling bright!
Large afro bouncin' to the oldies beat
White squeaky sneakers on your dancing feet
You help the chubby, the pudgy and pale.
Your orange glow tells an inspiring tale
To wiggle and move and and work very hard,
While wearing short-shorts that show all your lard.
Oh fuzzy little caffeinated sprite,
Your stripes and sequins so dazzling bright!
Large afro bouncin' to the oldies beat
White squeaky sneakers on your dancing feet
You help the chubby, the pudgy and pale.
Your orange glow tells an inspiring tale
To wiggle and move and and work very hard,
While wearing short-shorts that show all your lard.
Here is a performance piece by Richard himself to accompany the above prose.
Popeland Revisited
I know the antics of the last papal saga left you titillated. So for the Askville Answer of the Week, I bring you the sequel you've been craving!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Ebay Strike!
Feb. 18-25, 2008 Do Not Buy, Sell, or List on Ebay!
Today kicks off the Great Ebay Strike. For those of you unfamiliar with what's going on, a new CEO of Ebay has announced some policy changes that will greatly hurt the user experience and propagate corporate greed. Here are the offending changes:
1.) A Major Rate Increase - They've claimed that they're offering a "listing fee reduction" by 5 cents. Isn't that nice? What they don't tell you is that at the same time they're raising the seller's auction-end fees by 33-66%! 
2.) Revamping the Feedback System - Under the new system, Sellers can't leave negative feedback for Buyers. This leaves Sellers unprotected from ratings fraud and gives Buyers no incentive (other than human decency) to behave themselves. It's like arming one side with a gun, and not the other.
3.) 95% Positive Feedback Requirement - That's right, unless your positive feedback rate is 95%, then your auctions won't be listed in Ebay's search engine, which means no one will ever see your auction and you will never sell anything again. So if one person receives a few negative feedbacks, they have no chance to redeem their ratings because they'll never be able to sell again!
4.) PayPal To Withhold Money - If you have fewer than 100 feedback (which means most occasional Ebayers), PayPal will withhold your money from you for 21 days!!! That's right, 3 weeks of you not getting YOUR money! And no, they're not giving you any interest for holding your money hostage for 3 weeks.
Not only does this harm the Ebay community as a whole, but this new policy specifically targets infrequent users (which includes me!). It's as if Ebay is trying to eliminate anyone but hardcore Power Sellers.
Then to add insult to injury, the new CEO of Ebay mocked the "noise" users made when they complained about these new policies. So Ebayites decided to get together and show this greedy CEO just how much noise Ebayers can really make!
2.) Revamping the Feedback System - Under the new system, Sellers can't leave negative feedback for Buyers. This leaves Sellers unprotected from ratings fraud and gives Buyers no incentive (other than human decency) to behave themselves. It's like arming one side with a gun, and not the other.
3.) 95% Positive Feedback Requirement - That's right, unless your positive feedback rate is 95%, then your auctions won't be listed in Ebay's search engine, which means no one will ever see your auction and you will never sell anything again. So if one person receives a few negative feedbacks, they have no chance to redeem their ratings because they'll never be able to sell again!
4.) PayPal To Withhold Money - If you have fewer than 100 feedback (which means most occasional Ebayers), PayPal will withhold your money from you for 21 days!!! That's right, 3 weeks of you not getting YOUR money! And no, they're not giving you any interest for holding your money hostage for 3 weeks.
Not only does this harm the Ebay community as a whole, but this new policy specifically targets infrequent users (which includes me!). It's as if Ebay is trying to eliminate anyone but hardcore Power Sellers.
Then to add insult to injury, the new CEO of Ebay mocked the "noise" users made when they complained about these new policies. So Ebayites decided to get together and show this greedy CEO just how much noise Ebayers can really make!
For a slightly more entertaining take on the strike, watch the video below. It has more flair, I'd say:
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The Anti-lol Society
I am officially announcing the formation of the Anti-lol Society - a group that promotes the elimination of the chat acronym, "lol". We here at the A.L.S. recognize that "lol" is not only the most common chat acronym, but also the most annoying and the most improperly used. Our simple 3-step plan will help cut down on the use of this objectionable term:
1. EDUCATION - We will teach users across the world that the term is supposed to mean "laughing out loud". It is therefore not appropriate to wear a homemade t-shirt on The Price is Right that reads: "I'm a Plinko babe! lol".
Furthermore, you should only use this term when you are, in fact, laughing out loud - and never in response to a comment of your own.
If you must issue a "lol", you may only do so in the context of an on-going typed chat conversation - never in an email, blog post, photo caption, title, headline, poster, sign, t-shirt, or verbal conversation.
2. ELIMINATION - In undertaking this mission, we vow to never again use this term to prevent the further perversion of its meaning and excessive usage.
3. SUPPORT - We vow to heckle and chide anyone we encounter who uses "lol" in normal contexts. Additionally, we offer a service where we will come to someone's home and hit them upside the head with a phonebook if they type or say "lol" in an egregious fashion. Call us, we'll be there.
If the A.L.S. succeeds in its mission, then the world will be a less annoying place to live. Remember, we're doing this for the children.
If you'd like to support the A.L.S. please send cash donations. Lots of them.
1. EDUCATION - We will teach users across the world that the term is supposed to mean "laughing out loud". It is therefore not appropriate to wear a homemade t-shirt on The Price is Right that reads: "I'm a Plinko babe! lol".
Furthermore, you should only use this term when you are, in fact, laughing out loud - and never in response to a comment of your own.
If you must issue a "lol", you may only do so in the context of an on-going typed chat conversation - never in an email, blog post, photo caption, title, headline, poster, sign, t-shirt, or verbal conversation.
2. ELIMINATION - In undertaking this mission, we vow to never again use this term to prevent the further perversion of its meaning and excessive usage.
3. SUPPORT - We vow to heckle and chide anyone we encounter who uses "lol" in normal contexts. Additionally, we offer a service where we will come to someone's home and hit them upside the head with a phonebook if they type or say "lol" in an egregious fashion. Call us, we'll be there.
If the A.L.S. succeeds in its mission, then the world will be a less annoying place to live. Remember, we're doing this for the children.
If you'd like to support the A.L.S. please send cash donations. Lots of them.
Did you hear the one about the model who pooped her pants?
Well I did, and it friggin' made my day! It seems that Miss Tyra Banks allegedly had a small pants accident while at a New York Fashion Week event. The author of this blog reported that he was on hand as a special back area tent was seized for Tyra to change her soiled shorts and get herself cleaned up. It was probably the Fecal Emergencies Tent. Apparently Tyra's staff carries a spare set of clothes for her to most public events like these - poop yourself much, Ms. Banks?
It's not so funny when you consider it's probably because she's loaded her Whopper sandwich with a small mountain of laxative tablets on top like little poop-inducing pickles.
But I'm back to giggling again when I remember that this was the same Ms. Banks who celebrated Black History Month on her talk show last year by celebrating...yes, you guessed it...herself - and her own magnificent contribution to black history.
It's not so funny when you consider it's probably because she's loaded her Whopper sandwich with a small mountain of laxative tablets on top like little poop-inducing pickles.
But I'm back to giggling again when I remember that this was the same Ms. Banks who celebrated Black History Month on her talk show last year by celebrating...yes, you guessed it...herself - and her own magnificent contribution to black history.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Super Happy Most Excellent Picture #6
Happy belated Valentine's Day to you all! I thought as a treat to celebrate, I'd get you a love truck:
"Love Truck"
This is a real truck delivering a load of balloons to destination(s) unknown in Cancun.
Lost Thoughts: "The Economist" (70's Porn Edition)
Excellent episode last night, in spite of the fact that either ABC or Comcast decided to broadcast the episode in 70's Pornovision. The entire episode looked grainy, overexposed, and washed out, with little pop sounds and white nuggets and squiggles flashing on the screen. Quentin Tarantino would've appreciated the look, but me? Not so much. Thank goodness I also caught it in HD so I could really experience the episode as it should've been. So here's what I thought of the whole thing (Pornovision aside):
The Boaters Have Many Faces -
The people who I call the "Boaters" include not just our new friends on the island, but also the entire organization they represent. And it's becoming clear they have more than one objective on the island. Twitchy, the physicist, really is working to collect island data. And curiously, Pilot Frank can't firmly deny any knowledge about Penny Widmore! Which makes sense, since how else would they get the picture of Penn and Des together? So what connection could Penny have to the Boaters? She cleary doesn't have any personal knowledge of them. Is Papa Widmore behind the Boaters? Whatever the case, the Boaters seem to have compartmentalized the information they share between themselves. After all, why is Daniel required to hang up the phone immediately if Minkowski the Mysterious answers?
The Other Others -
Well, the transition is complete. Kate and the other Losties have come full circle and have turned into "Others" themselves. Notice how Kate looks strikingly like Rousseau in this episode? And how our Losties are just as shy on answers as the Others used to be, even about mundane things? Heck, our Losties are even taking up residence in the Others' housing.
Who's the Boss? -
Well, well, well. I should've known when Sayid said he had a "list" of people to eliminate. Ben loves to send his soldiers out with lists. It's his thang. So Future Sayid is working for Future Ben to kill people - presumably to kill Boaters (again, meaning anyone in the organization that has just infiltrated the island). Ben says he was able to recruit Sayid based upon an incident when "they" (the Boaters?) did something horrible because Sayid thought with "his heart instead of his gun". Read: Sayid blinked before shooting, and the result was horrifying - so horrifying that he would go on a global killing spree at the behest of Ben. And the person who caused the horrible? Must've been someone Sayid cared about and trusted (hence why he thought with his heart instead of his gun). Either that or a hostage situation was involved. So what the heck happened to make Future Sayid SO vengeful and Future Jack so depressed? (typical of their characters when reacting to adversity, isn't it?). In any event, the whole thing is incredibly ironic since it was just earlier this episode that Sayid commented: "The day I trust Ben is they day I've sold my soul." What did Sayid sell his soul for?
Sayid's Handywork -
Future Sayid caps two people: Mr. Avellino (who looks beyond freaked out knowing that he's "bumped into" an 815er) and Elsa. Elsa didn't seem nearly so freaked out, in fact she thought she was the one in control, probably pretty high up on the Boater totem pole. So who does she work for? Is it anyone we know yet? And isn't funny how much she looked like Shannon and died in the same way?
Naomi and Elsa's Bling -
Girlfriends shop at the same bling store. Both Elsa and Naomi were sporting the same type of bracelet. We may not have seen Elsa's engraving, but we saw what Naomi's reads:
"N. I'll always be with you. R.G."
"N." presumably means Naomi. Who can R.G. be? Is R.G. the Boaters' employer? Did he have a sick trademark (like Ben with his lists) of giving each of his employees jewelry to cement their loyalty? Me thinks there's more to these bracelets than just accessorizing though. Remember that these are highly trained secret ops-type people. The phrase "I'll always be with you" suggests that maybe the bracelets are tracking devices or listening devices. After all, the Boaters were already using code phrases like "Tell my sister I love her" = "Some scary bald guy has thrown a knife in my gut".
Ben's Hideaway -
Island Sayid was almost as busy as Future Sayid. During a raid on Ben's house, he discovered a secret room behind Ben's bookcase that has all sorts of interesting goodies: suits, sweaters,
luggage, global passports, and global currency in large bundles. Looks like Ben isn't quite the island hick we once thought he was. Seems that Ben's well-funded and well-connected and does a lot of traveling. But how can he travel so much and his people not notice him gone? His people believe him to be an island hick, too. Who is backing Ben? And why do they care about fertility research on the island? Are they the ones who magically trained Ben in how to treat gunshot wounds? And another thing - why is Future Ben in an animal hospital, and why didn't he divulge his medical training earlier?
Hurley has Faith -
Hurley has an inkling that Locke's a nutter, but he's standing by his faith in Charlie, even so much as to betray his friends. But I think it was a pretty fair trade: The Lockettes get to keep Kate and the Ghostbuster. Jack's Crew gets Charlotte and a ticket for a helicopter ride. Best line of the epsisode: "Oh awesome, the ship sent us another Sawyer!" -Hurley about the Angry Ghostbuster
Sayid in the Sky, with Desmond -
Well the helicopter's primed and ready to go. So who's coming? Anyone? Anyone? How can it be after all this drama that Pilot Frank can't convince anyone to get on the chopper??? A corpse gets a ride? Seriously!??? I cannot believe Jack volunteered to stay behind. Was this supposed to be self-flagellation? Or does he have another motive? And even more curiously, where was Juliet? I can understand if she was shy to hand herself over to the Boaters due to their keen interest in Ben. But why didn't they even offer it to her or discuss it at all? We saw her walking toward the chopper with Sayid. Ach, it just doesn't make sense. For now. I cannot wait to see what Des and Sayid find on the boat! Woohoo!
OTHER BURNING QUESTIONS:
Why couldn't Locke find Jacob's cabin?
What is Locke trying to accomplish by taking prisoners instead of just hiding?
Why did Sayid rinse his left hand with snow after calling Ben outside of Elsa's coffee shop?
THINGS YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED:
The Boaters Have Many Faces -
The people who I call the "Boaters" include not just our new friends on the island, but also the entire organization they represent. And it's becoming clear they have more than one objective on the island. Twitchy, the physicist, really is working to collect island data. And curiously, Pilot Frank can't firmly deny any knowledge about Penny Widmore! Which makes sense, since how else would they get the picture of Penn and Des together? So what connection could Penny have to the Boaters? She cleary doesn't have any personal knowledge of them. Is Papa Widmore behind the Boaters? Whatever the case, the Boaters seem to have compartmentalized the information they share between themselves. After all, why is Daniel required to hang up the phone immediately if Minkowski the Mysterious answers?
The Other Others -
Well, the transition is complete. Kate and the other Losties have come full circle and have turned into "Others" themselves. Notice how Kate looks strikingly like Rousseau in this episode? And how our Losties are just as shy on answers as the Others used to be, even about mundane things? Heck, our Losties are even taking up residence in the Others' housing.
Who's the Boss? -
Well, well, well. I should've known when Sayid said he had a "list" of people to eliminate. Ben loves to send his soldiers out with lists. It's his thang. So Future Sayid is working for Future Ben to kill people - presumably to kill Boaters (again, meaning anyone in the organization that has just infiltrated the island). Ben says he was able to recruit Sayid based upon an incident when "they" (the Boaters?) did something horrible because Sayid thought with "his heart instead of his gun". Read: Sayid blinked before shooting, and the result was horrifying - so horrifying that he would go on a global killing spree at the behest of Ben. And the person who caused the horrible? Must've been someone Sayid cared about and trusted (hence why he thought with his heart instead of his gun). Either that or a hostage situation was involved. So what the heck happened to make Future Sayid SO vengeful and Future Jack so depressed? (typical of their characters when reacting to adversity, isn't it?). In any event, the whole thing is incredibly ironic since it was just earlier this episode that Sayid commented: "The day I trust Ben is they day I've sold my soul." What did Sayid sell his soul for?
Sayid's Handywork -
Future Sayid caps two people: Mr. Avellino (who looks beyond freaked out knowing that he's "bumped into" an 815er) and Elsa. Elsa didn't seem nearly so freaked out, in fact she thought she was the one in control, probably pretty high up on the Boater totem pole. So who does she work for? Is it anyone we know yet? And isn't funny how much she looked like Shannon and died in the same way?
Naomi and Elsa's Bling -
Girlfriends shop at the same bling store. Both Elsa and Naomi were sporting the same type of bracelet. We may not have seen Elsa's engraving, but we saw what Naomi's reads:
"N. I'll always be with you. R.G."
"N." presumably means Naomi. Who can R.G. be? Is R.G. the Boaters' employer? Did he have a sick trademark (like Ben with his lists) of giving each of his employees jewelry to cement their loyalty? Me thinks there's more to these bracelets than just accessorizing though. Remember that these are highly trained secret ops-type people. The phrase "I'll always be with you" suggests that maybe the bracelets are tracking devices or listening devices. After all, the Boaters were already using code phrases like "Tell my sister I love her" = "Some scary bald guy has thrown a knife in my gut".
Ben's Hideaway -
Island Sayid was almost as busy as Future Sayid. During a raid on Ben's house, he discovered a secret room behind Ben's bookcase that has all sorts of interesting goodies: suits, sweaters,
luggage, global passports, and global currency in large bundles. Looks like Ben isn't quite the island hick we once thought he was. Seems that Ben's well-funded and well-connected and does a lot of traveling. But how can he travel so much and his people not notice him gone? His people believe him to be an island hick, too. Who is backing Ben? And why do they care about fertility research on the island? Are they the ones who magically trained Ben in how to treat gunshot wounds? And another thing - why is Future Ben in an animal hospital, and why didn't he divulge his medical training earlier?Hurley has Faith -
Hurley has an inkling that Locke's a nutter, but he's standing by his faith in Charlie, even so much as to betray his friends. But I think it was a pretty fair trade: The Lockettes get to keep Kate and the Ghostbuster. Jack's Crew gets Charlotte and a ticket for a helicopter ride. Best line of the epsisode: "Oh awesome, the ship sent us another Sawyer!" -Hurley about the Angry Ghostbuster
Sayid in the Sky, with Desmond -
Well the helicopter's primed and ready to go. So who's coming? Anyone? Anyone? How can it be after all this drama that Pilot Frank can't convince anyone to get on the chopper??? A corpse gets a ride? Seriously!??? I cannot believe Jack volunteered to stay behind. Was this supposed to be self-flagellation? Or does he have another motive? And even more curiously, where was Juliet? I can understand if she was shy to hand herself over to the Boaters due to their keen interest in Ben. But why didn't they even offer it to her or discuss it at all? We saw her walking toward the chopper with Sayid. Ach, it just doesn't make sense. For now. I cannot wait to see what Des and Sayid find on the boat! Woohoo!
OTHER BURNING QUESTIONS:
Why couldn't Locke find Jacob's cabin?
What is Locke trying to accomplish by taking prisoners instead of just hiding?
Why did Sayid rinse his left hand with snow after calling Ben outside of Elsa's coffee shop?
THINGS YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED:
- Ben's alias on the Swiss passport in his secret room is Dean Moriarty, the same name as a Jack Kerouac character. Kerouac was also the author of "Dharma Bums".
- Elsa was "reading" a book of sudoku puzzles in the coffee shop.
THE OCEANIC SIX
1. Jack
2. Kate
3. Hurley
4. Sayid
5. ?
6. ?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Pixie Stix Couture
What happens when you combine Pixie Stix, modeling glue, too much time, and overwhelming curiosity? Well, it's not as scary as you might think. Look - I made art!
Does this guy look familiar? He's woolly, my mascot! And he's made entirely out of Pixie Stix powder!
Here are some pictures of his creation. It was a fun process of sketching, then smearing glue, then sprinkling piles and piles of color-coded Pixie dust all over the paper...a cat walking through the whole thing...and then shaking off the excess candy. I wish I could tell you that the resulting portrait smelled fruity and sweet...but it just smells like glue. Trust me I keep sniffing it thinking it might fruiten up.
In addition to woolly's portrait, I made a Woolly the Blog logo - also made entirely out of Pixie Stix powder. In fact, I added it as a permanent fixture on this blog, so look for it at the very bottom of the page!
Anyway, it's not like I was going to eat more of those decade-old Pixie Stix after nearly needing to have my stomach pumped just after New Year's. And I couldn't just let them go to waste! Now my Pixie Stix will be immortalized forever in art!
Monday, February 11, 2008
What the Pope?
And now for this holy moment, brought to you by God...
...beamed down as your Askville Answer of the Week:
...beamed down as your Askville Answer of the Week:
You can always find me on http://www.askville.com/. Just ask for PenguinSage. Tell her the Hamburglar sent ya!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Woolly Lists - Top Ten Great Things About "Back to the Future"
10. "Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here?"
9. Lesson learned: You never want to...go back and find out just how big of a 'ho your mom really was.
8. Crispin Glover really does need to change that oil.
7. We find out that pinball machine parts really resemble a nuclear device....at least they do to Hill Valley terrorists. The more you know.
6. "1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigwatts! Great Scott!"
5. Apparently, the key to helping anyone with a concussion...is to take their pants off.
4. Marty and Doc floating above flaming tire tracks after Einy's attempt to run them over.
3. There was an amazing amount of dung conveniently being driven around 1950's Hill Valley.
2. We now know...cuckoo clock + wet toilet = time machine.
1. "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need...roads."
9. Lesson learned: You never want to...go back and find out just how big of a 'ho your mom really was.
8. Crispin Glover really does need to change that oil.
7. We find out that pinball machine parts really resemble a nuclear device....at least they do to Hill Valley terrorists. The more you know.
6. "1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigwatts! Great Scott!"
5. Apparently, the key to helping anyone with a concussion...is to take their pants off.
4. Marty and Doc floating above flaming tire tracks after Einy's attempt to run them over.
3. There was an amazing amount of dung conveniently being driven around 1950's Hill Valley.
2. We now know...cuckoo clock + wet toilet = time machine.
1. "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need...roads."
Friday, February 8, 2008
*Supernatural* Brownies, ho!
Wow, I never really considered posting recipes here. I'm not exactly the Paula Dean type. For one I refuse to say "y'all". And two, my personality just doesn't scream "a homecooked plate of lovin'". But when a recipe starts getting press that combines the word "Supernatural" with chocolate, attention must be paid. Apparently this lofty title is every bit accurate, and these are the most amazing brownies you will EVER taste.
I plan to make these in the next few days to test the hype. I can't wait!
Rumor has it a master chef erred while doubling a batch of regular brownies, and forgot to double the flour - giving the world a supernatural taste treat.
If this recipe delivers what it promises, it will go down in history with such culinary epics as Pop Rocks and Pixie Stix! If you try this recipe, please comment on this post and let me know how they turn out, and if they really are supernaturally delightful!
I plan to make these in the next few days to test the hype. I can't wait!
Rumor has it a master chef erred while doubling a batch of regular brownies, and forgot to double the flour - giving the world a supernatural taste treat.
If this recipe delivers what it promises, it will go down in history with such culinary epics as Pop Rocks and Pixie Stix! If you try this recipe, please comment on this post and let me know how they turn out, and if they really are supernaturally delightful!
Lost Thoughts: "Confirmed Dead"
Last night's episode of Lost was one of those that frustrates even the most die-hard Lostie. It was a giant pile of enigmas with very few answers on top. And worse yet, it really came off as an episode setting up some very exciting action to come later, but didn't offer a whole lot of plot meat for us to sink our teeth into last night. It was all about several character introductions and teasers.
With lots to ponder though, here are my thoughts on the episode:
Flight 815 at the bottom of the Indian Ocean?!-
Naomi alluded to this a couple episodes ago, and now I realize she wasn't a liar-liar-pants-on-fire like I thought. So we find out tonight that sometime between September-December 2004 (since the plane crashed on Sept. 22, 2004), the plane is "accidentally" discovered at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, just off of Bali (why so far west of what should've been the flight path from Sydney to L.A.?). The show makes painstaking efforts to show us all sides of the plane to assure us that no parts could've gone astray and landed elsewhere. We even get to see the dead pilot corpse via
camera as it's broadcast on international television (although a little suspicious that any news organization would show that on camera - is this bad writing by Damon and Carlton? Or a hint that something's up?). Very bizarre.
"That's not Seth Norris"-
So one of our many "flashbackees" tonight is Frank Lapidus, who reveals he was supposed to be the pilot of Flight 815, but was replaced by pilot Seth Norris at the last minute. What did he do to get pulled from that flight? Lucky bastard. And yes, it was Seth Norris that we "saw" get pulled from the cockpit by the monster in the "Pilot" episode - the same actor plays the doomed pilot in the first episode as is pictured on Frank's tv.
Anyway, Frankie is watching as the "wreckage of Flight 815" is explored via underwater cameras on tv. After seeing a close-up of the pilot corpse, he calls a hotline number for family members of Flight 815 victims to report that the corpse on television can't be Seth Norris: Seth Norris wears a wedding ring, and Frank is POSITIVE that's not him. This observation plays into a long-running show theory - could the plane wreckage be a fake, doctored up by organizations unknown? It's looking that way - especially since Damon and Carlton have hinted in the past that the show's secret is not connected with purgatory. And in order for that wreckage in the ocean to be real, all of our Losties would have to be dead spirits of some kind. Speaking of which...
Enter the Angry Ghostbuster-
Miles Straume is his name and being a moody little ghost-whispering prick is his game. He's another one of our flashbackees tonight, and we see him back in 2004 (just after the plane wreckage is discovered) busting ghosts for cash with the help of a Dustbuster-like device. Apparently our angry little friend can talk to and hear/understand dead spirits. Won't that come in handy? No seriously, I'm asking. Will it? Because if you know, I wanna know. And what is the deal with that Dustbuster? Does Miles even believe it does anything? Or is he conning people with it? (conning, of course, being a central theme of this show)
A Polar Bear With No Sense of Direction-
Well it looks like one of our friendly Dharma polar bears took a wrong turn past the Hydra Station and ended up in Tunisia. That's where another flashbackee, Charlotte Staples Lewis, goes to investigate a polar bear skeleton with a handy-dandy Dharma Hydra Station collar attached to it. Now, she has to bribe her way in to this "dig" site, which begs the questions: Which came first, the archaeological dig or the polar bear remains? Why is someone trying to keep a dig for polar bear remains "closed" (as we are notified by a local Tunisian)? Obviously Charlotte's little assistant didn't know what they were looking for since she's well-trained enough to mistake the polar bear bones for a dinosaur. But it seems Charlotte is pleased to find the Dharma collar. Is that what she was at the site to find? Who sent Charlotte to find Mr. Bear? Thank goodness she ditched her ditsy assistant before heading to the island!
All Shook Up-
Our final new flashbackee doesn't have much to him. He's a squirrelly little fella named Daniel Faraday who is emotionally crushed when the remains of Flight 815 were found in 2004. Why so heartbroken? His wife clearly doesn't understand his emotion. This is the second case we've seen in recent episodes of someone showing a mysterious amount of grief over someone(s) they are not friends or family with (remember Jack mourning the mystery coffin right after his performance on the bridge?). Hmmmm....
I Love it When a Plan Comes Together-
So Naomi plotted with Matthew Abbadon (who I like to call Mr. Suit, because all of these new characters' names just sound too made up for words) to send a crack team of "experts" on to the island for a covert operation, eh? And guess who's on the team? The ghostbuster, squirrelly guy, bone digger, and Frank the pessimistic pilot! You just have to wonder, why these guys? Naomi as a tactical expert, the Oceanic pilot, and the physicist make a marginal amount of sense...but why a ghostbuster? Or a bone digger? And almost equally puzzling, why don't they expect to find any living 815ers? Do they know in advance that the plane crashed on the island? In that case maybe they doubt anyone survived. I wonder....(to quote Brenda Lee)
They're On a Mission from God-
From what we know right now, apparently they're going in to get our friend, Ben. It's pretty flattering that Ben is so wanted that someone would assemble an entire covert operation just to get him. Why do they want him so much? How did they get that picture of Ben and where was it taken? And what do they intend to do with him? Whatever it is, I'm guessing that it ain't pretty.
But even more quizzical - Why did Naomi have the Desmond & Penny picture when she landed?, How did she get it?, and Why did she say she was looking for Desmond??? Plus when she landed, why tell the Losties all about outsiders finding Flight 815 with no survivors? She seemed so surprised and forthcoming. Why?
Captain Jack Will Get You By Tonight-
When the A-Team parachutes down to the island after flying through an "electrical storm", Kate and Jack collect Daniel and Miles, who then hold them at gunpoint (why does this always happen to Kate?) until Miles can shakedown dead Naomi for the scoop on how she died...and until badass Sayid and Juliet show up with some artillery to rescue Jack and Kate (rock on, Sayid!). When they also go to collect Frank, too, we start to FINALLY get to the good stuff. A.) they have a working chopper. Hooray! B.) Frankie-boy was smart enough to memorize the passenger manifest and quickly realizes Juliet is a "native". Cool. The shizz is gonna go down. Oh, and has anyone else thought that Miles reminds them a lot of Booger from "Revenge of the Nerds"? Seriously, pay attention next time and you'll see what I mean.
A few mysteries remain about the A-Team: Why did they bail with a quarantine-marked box full of gas masks? Another purge, anyone? Plus there's the whole "Minkowski" thing. Who the crap is Minkowski? And why won't he take an important radio transmission from the island? What could be happening on that freighter that is so much more important? Me thinks we'll find out in a future episode!
Locke's Wild Ride-
We join Locke leading his cult of Lockettes (and Ben on a leash) around the island trying to avoid the "rescuers". So naturally they stumble right into sweet-as-sugar Charlotte who's just parachuted in and has a sack full of lies to tell them. Chiefly she won't reveal where the chopper was trying to land (presumably because she doesn't want them finding it in case the chopper's ok). Why does she sound so deceptive and unsure when naming the number of people on the chopper? One thing's for sure. She's a good little liar.
Hurley's Cabin of Fun-
When they found Charlotte, the Lockettes were actually on their way to Jacob's cabin for guidance. Except that Hurley hastily corrects Locke at one point to note that the cabin is "back that way". This causes some very shocked and knowing expressions pass between Locke and Ben. You know they're wondering: Did Hurley really see Jacob's cabin? Why did he see it over in the opposite direction that Locke is familiar with? Did Jacob summon Hurley? Why? Naturally Hurley backpedals and covers up his verbal slip. But it's out there. And now both Ben and Locke know there's something special about Hurley. It just got INTERESTING!
It's All About Ben-
So....it turns out Sawyer was right: Ben-on-a-leash was just waiting for his moment to act out. So he shot Char right in the bulletproof vest. The interesting part is what ensues. At seeing all of this unfold, Locke realized two things:
1. The group wasn't going to tolerate Ben any longer.
2. He needed answers fast about what this woman was up to that she needed a bulletproof vest to parachute on to an island.
So he put on a show for the Lockettes. He acted like he was going to kill Ben, when both he AND Ben know that he's not a killer (when he took the gun he said "I'll clean up my own mess" - the SAME wording Ben used in describing Locke's failed responsibility to kill his father). He was just making a scene so it looks like he's taking action and getting answers. If he wanted Ben dead, he wouldn't have taken the gun away from Sawyer, his favorite assassin. It was all a bluff.
Now, does Ben really not know what the smoke monster is? (I clenched so tight when Locke asked!) And who is this mystery person that Ben is in cahoots with on the boat?
Things You Might've Missed:
With lots to ponder though, here are my thoughts on the episode:
Flight 815 at the bottom of the Indian Ocean?!-
Naomi alluded to this a couple episodes ago, and now I realize she wasn't a liar-liar-pants-on-fire like I thought. So we find out tonight that sometime between September-December 2004 (since the plane crashed on Sept. 22, 2004), the plane is "accidentally" discovered at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, just off of Bali (why so far west of what should've been the flight path from Sydney to L.A.?). The show makes painstaking efforts to show us all sides of the plane to assure us that no parts could've gone astray and landed elsewhere. We even get to see the dead pilot corpse via
camera as it's broadcast on international television (although a little suspicious that any news organization would show that on camera - is this bad writing by Damon and Carlton? Or a hint that something's up?). Very bizarre."That's not Seth Norris"-
So one of our many "flashbackees" tonight is Frank Lapidus, who reveals he was supposed to be the pilot of Flight 815, but was replaced by pilot Seth Norris at the last minute. What did he do to get pulled from that flight? Lucky bastard. And yes, it was Seth Norris that we "saw" get pulled from the cockpit by the monster in the "Pilot" episode - the same actor plays the doomed pilot in the first episode as is pictured on Frank's tv.
Anyway, Frankie is watching as the "wreckage of Flight 815" is explored via underwater cameras on tv. After seeing a close-up of the pilot corpse, he calls a hotline number for family members of Flight 815 victims to report that the corpse on television can't be Seth Norris: Seth Norris wears a wedding ring, and Frank is POSITIVE that's not him. This observation plays into a long-running show theory - could the plane wreckage be a fake, doctored up by organizations unknown? It's looking that way - especially since Damon and Carlton have hinted in the past that the show's secret is not connected with purgatory. And in order for that wreckage in the ocean to be real, all of our Losties would have to be dead spirits of some kind. Speaking of which...
Enter the Angry Ghostbuster-
Miles Straume is his name and being a moody little ghost-whispering prick is his game. He's another one of our flashbackees tonight, and we see him back in 2004 (just after the plane wreckage is discovered) busting ghosts for cash with the help of a Dustbuster-like device. Apparently our angry little friend can talk to and hear/understand dead spirits. Won't that come in handy? No seriously, I'm asking. Will it? Because if you know, I wanna know. And what is the deal with that Dustbuster? Does Miles even believe it does anything? Or is he conning people with it? (conning, of course, being a central theme of this show)
A Polar Bear With No Sense of Direction-
Well it looks like one of our friendly Dharma polar bears took a wrong turn past the Hydra Station and ended up in Tunisia. That's where another flashbackee, Charlotte Staples Lewis, goes to investigate a polar bear skeleton with a handy-dandy Dharma Hydra Station collar attached to it. Now, she has to bribe her way in to this "dig" site, which begs the questions: Which came first, the archaeological dig or the polar bear remains? Why is someone trying to keep a dig for polar bear remains "closed" (as we are notified by a local Tunisian)? Obviously Charlotte's little assistant didn't know what they were looking for since she's well-trained enough to mistake the polar bear bones for a dinosaur. But it seems Charlotte is pleased to find the Dharma collar. Is that what she was at the site to find? Who sent Charlotte to find Mr. Bear? Thank goodness she ditched her ditsy assistant before heading to the island!
All Shook Up-
Our final new flashbackee doesn't have much to him. He's a squirrelly little fella named Daniel Faraday who is emotionally crushed when the remains of Flight 815 were found in 2004. Why so heartbroken? His wife clearly doesn't understand his emotion. This is the second case we've seen in recent episodes of someone showing a mysterious amount of grief over someone(s) they are not friends or family with (remember Jack mourning the mystery coffin right after his performance on the bridge?). Hmmmm....
I Love it When a Plan Comes Together-
So Naomi plotted with Matthew Abbadon (who I like to call Mr. Suit, because all of these new characters' names just sound too made up for words) to send a crack team of "experts" on to the island for a covert operation, eh? And guess who's on the team? The ghostbuster, squirrelly guy, bone digger, and Frank the pessimistic pilot! You just have to wonder, why these guys? Naomi as a tactical expert, the Oceanic pilot, and the physicist make a marginal amount of sense...but why a ghostbuster? Or a bone digger? And almost equally puzzling, why don't they expect to find any living 815ers? Do they know in advance that the plane crashed on the island? In that case maybe they doubt anyone survived. I wonder....(to quote Brenda Lee)
They're On a Mission from God-
From what we know right now, apparently they're going in to get our friend, Ben. It's pretty flattering that Ben is so wanted that someone would assemble an entire covert operation just to get him. Why do they want him so much? How did they get that picture of Ben and where was it taken? And what do they intend to do with him? Whatever it is, I'm guessing that it ain't pretty.
But even more quizzical - Why did Naomi have the Desmond & Penny picture when she landed?, How did she get it?, and Why did she say she was looking for Desmond??? Plus when she landed, why tell the Losties all about outsiders finding Flight 815 with no survivors? She seemed so surprised and forthcoming. Why?
Captain Jack Will Get You By Tonight-
When the A-Team parachutes down to the island after flying through an "electrical storm", Kate and Jack collect Daniel and Miles, who then hold them at gunpoint (why does this always happen to Kate?) until Miles can shakedown dead Naomi for the scoop on how she died...and until badass Sayid and Juliet show up with some artillery to rescue Jack and Kate (rock on, Sayid!). When they also go to collect Frank, too, we start to FINALLY get to the good stuff. A.) they have a working chopper. Hooray! B.) Frankie-boy was smart enough to memorize the passenger manifest and quickly realizes Juliet is a "native". Cool. The shizz is gonna go down. Oh, and has anyone else thought that Miles reminds them a lot of Booger from "Revenge of the Nerds"? Seriously, pay attention next time and you'll see what I mean.
A few mysteries remain about the A-Team: Why did they bail with a quarantine-marked box full of gas masks? Another purge, anyone? Plus there's the whole "Minkowski" thing. Who the crap is Minkowski? And why won't he take an important radio transmission from the island? What could be happening on that freighter that is so much more important? Me thinks we'll find out in a future episode!
Locke's Wild Ride-
We join Locke leading his cult of Lockettes (and Ben on a leash) around the island trying to avoid the "rescuers". So naturally they stumble right into sweet-as-sugar Charlotte who's just parachuted in and has a sack full of lies to tell them. Chiefly she won't reveal where the chopper was trying to land (presumably because she doesn't want them finding it in case the chopper's ok). Why does she sound so deceptive and unsure when naming the number of people on the chopper? One thing's for sure. She's a good little liar.
Hurley's Cabin of Fun-
When they found Charlotte, the Lockettes were actually on their way to Jacob's cabin for guidance. Except that Hurley hastily corrects Locke at one point to note that the cabin is "back that way". This causes some very shocked and knowing expressions pass between Locke and Ben. You know they're wondering: Did Hurley really see Jacob's cabin? Why did he see it over in the opposite direction that Locke is familiar with? Did Jacob summon Hurley? Why? Naturally Hurley backpedals and covers up his verbal slip. But it's out there. And now both Ben and Locke know there's something special about Hurley. It just got INTERESTING!
It's All About Ben-
So....it turns out Sawyer was right: Ben-on-a-leash was just waiting for his moment to act out. So he shot Char right in the bulletproof vest. The interesting part is what ensues. At seeing all of this unfold, Locke realized two things:
1. The group wasn't going to tolerate Ben any longer.
2. He needed answers fast about what this woman was up to that she needed a bulletproof vest to parachute on to an island.
So he put on a show for the Lockettes. He acted like he was going to kill Ben, when both he AND Ben know that he's not a killer (when he took the gun he said "I'll clean up my own mess" - the SAME wording Ben used in describing Locke's failed responsibility to kill his father). He was just making a scene so it looks like he's taking action and getting answers. If he wanted Ben dead, he wouldn't have taken the gun away from Sawyer, his favorite assassin. It was all a bluff.
Now, does Ben really not know what the smoke monster is? (I clenched so tight when Locke asked!) And who is this mystery person that Ben is in cahoots with on the boat?
Things You Might've Missed:
- FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL 1-888-548-0034 (the Oceanic Airlines hotline). Go on, give it a try!
- Charlotte Staples Lewis is obviously an homage to Clive Staples Lewis - better known as C.S. Lewis, author of "The Chronicles of Narnia".
- Twitchy physicist Danny Faraday is probably named after famous physicist Michael Faraday who specialized in magnetism studies and light ray effects (did you notice that Danny mentions the odd light ray effects in the jungle??)
- The choppers numbers were: N842M - note the "numbers" present! This serial number would make it an American chopper.
- If you're adding up the days on the island, this episode takes place on Day 94 - Christmas Eve, 1994!
- The band Dirt Spigot emerges again! In the bedroom Miles worked in, there was a Dirt Spigot poster. We heard of this band previously during Charlie's "Everybutties" commercial shoot. The director says he wanted Dirt Spigot for the ad instead of Driveshaft.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The Tacky Off-Color Post
So the age-old question came up again in conversation this past week: "What would your stripper name be?"
So I meditated and went on a prayer quest about it.
The gods above reminded me about that really childish game that everyone plays in highschool - take the name of your first pet and add the street name of your childhood home, and that equals your stripper name. But seeing as that would make me Pooney Robinwood, that felt just a little too dirty even for me. Eww.
So my prayer quest continued. And then I found this very funny site that finally shed some light on this for me.
And so today, I present you with my new stripper name. From here on out I shall be known as...
The gods above reminded me about that really childish game that everyone plays in highschool - take the name of your first pet and add the street name of your childhood home, and that equals your stripper name. But seeing as that would make me Pooney Robinwood, that felt just a little too dirty even for me. Eww.
So my prayer quest continued. And then I found this very funny site that finally shed some light on this for me.
And so today, I present you with my new stripper name. From here on out I shall be known as...
Raquelle Honeyjugs!
Thank you to all my friends and family who supported me on this difficult journey.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Super Happy Most Excellent Picture #5
No, this didn't come from my dreams. This is a carnival float from Dusseldorf, Germany. Maybe I should move to Dusseldorf. I think they understand me there.
"Reflections on Democracy"
or
"Tastes Like Chicken"
I'm still mad at the groundhog
That little rodent didn't have to rub it in our faces. We all know that the winter is going to be cold, dark, and eternal. It's like telling Fred Thompson he's bald and ugly as a baboon. It may be true, but it's unnecessary to point out.
So I feel no guilt in taking out my winter anger on the groundhog. Here's a game that may help alleviate your own snowbound hositility too.
So I feel no guilt in taking out my winter anger on the groundhog. Here's a game that may help alleviate your own snowbound hositility too.
Play the Whack-a-Groundhog Game Here
In other winter updates, I would like to announce that my "Share the Snow" program has bottlenecked for now, as the US Postal Service has rejected my garbage bags of snow. We are working on the problem, and will be getting you your bags of snow at my earliest convenience.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Superbowl Super Duper Ads
To me, the Superbowl means only two things: Snacks and funny ads. I had the snack part down cold (yummy cheesy poofs, gooey brownies, and Diet Mountain Dew).
So, now for the ads. On the whole, a disappointing lot. But there are two ads that really shined. Here they are, the only two worthwhile Superbowl ads for 2008:
So, now for the ads. On the whole, a disappointing lot. But there are two ads that really shined. Here they are, the only two worthwhile Superbowl ads for 2008:
First, a cheeky ad for Coca Cola starring Stewie Griffin:
And here we have a squirrel in peril:
Honestly, I can't say which is my favorite. The squirrel one had made me actually laugh out loud. While I think the Coca Cola ad is just a bit more clever and fun. So I'll leave it up to you. If anyone would like to register an opinion, please leave a comment for this post.
Any other ads can be flushed down the toilet for the lack of inspiration or humor (a Clydesdale training to the "Rocky" theme, really? Can anyone say retread?).
Lost Thoughts: "The Beginning of the End"
The season opener of Lost has so much to offer, and packed so much wow into it that it really did take me four days to process all we saw and make some comments on it. First off: Faboo. That's all I can say about this jaw-dropping installment. Here are some of my more specific thoughts on what's going on:
Hurley Takes a Cannonball-
The symbolism, I'm sure, isn't lost on any Losties. Hurley believes (i.e. has faith in) rescue is coming so he cleanses himself of the island nightmare by cannonballing into the ocean. A not-so-subtle nod to the concept of baptism, which has appeared more than once in this show already. However, maybe our friend Hugo wasn't shedding his sins of the island , but was rather shedding his former naive ways. He used to be a sidelines character who was blissfully ignorant. The second that Dharma van came plowing out of the jungle that all changed. And his burden to deliver the news of Charlie's death to Claire just reinforced that point.
A Cabin For Two-
Wow, Jacob's Cabin?! Again?! What did we do to deserve this treat? Or rather, what did Hurley do to deserve this treat? After all, it does appear that Mr. Jacob was actually summoning him by revealing his mystical floating cabin. Is this how Ben gets summoned too? Clearly that was Christian Shepherd sitting in Jacob's pad, which is an odd twist, seeing as Christian is of no known significance to Hurley and (we believe) Hurley doesn't even know who he is. So why would Christian appear to Hurley unless he really was there? Could Christian have faked his death? Could he still be alive?
As for the eye, my money's still on it being Locke's eye seeing as Locke has probably been hanging out with Jacob ever since his gunshot recovery. Plus Locke appeared on the scene right away. But we'll see. (get it? See!)
Earth to Jack-
Oh, stubborn Jack. He is so shortsighted that he refuses to even process the news that Charlie's last act of life was to warn them that the boat people aren't who they say they are. And this is AFTER multiple warnings by others that the boat people are bringing death to them all. Maybe it's time to stop and think here, Jack. Is this really the rescue you're looking for? Or should you be using your instincts and protecting "your people"?
Naomi Dies...Some More-
The transmissions we continue to hear from Naomi's phone are mysterious and creepy. There are two different callers - one is upbeat like a used car commercial. One sounds angry and suspicious. But why do the Losties care so much about proving Naomi is alive? If this really is rescue (like Jack claims to believe), do they really think the boat will deny them because Naomi "had an accident"? Or does Jack deep-down know that this boat has a different agenda and he needs their favor to survive?
The Great Divide-
What Locke has to say about impending "rescue" made an awful lot of sense to me. These people aren't who they say they are. And since they say they're "rescue", if they're not then you know it's bad. So if you go with Jack you believe that Charlie's mistaken, Locke's a loon, and Ben's a liar. If you go with Locke, you believe that things just don't quite add up with this rescue copter, and you have *faith* in what Charlie, Ben, and Locke warned, *faith* in what the island is allegedly warning.
I would've gone with Locke. Maybe I'll look like a fool later. After all, there is some wisdom is Rose's words: "I'm not going anywhere with that man." And why does Future Hurley regret going with Locke so much? Does he think that if he stayed behind he could've helped/saved the rest of the Losties? What happens afterward to make Hurley wish he hadn't listened to his freind Charlie?
Camp Jack : Kate, Rose & Bernard, Sayid, Jin & Sun, Juliet, the rest of the 815ers
Camp Locke: Claire, Rousseau, Hurley, Ben, Sawyer, 2 unnamed Losties, Alex, Karl
Future Hurley -
So, Future Hurley sees Charlie's ghost, freaks out, starts a high-speed police chase (crashing his beloved car that he and his dad worked on long ago), and begs to be put back into his fave psych facility. Why do the cops start chasing him though? Since when is it so illegal to freak out and knock over some displays in a gas station? It's not polite, but I'm just saying. Also, why won't he admit to knowing Ana Lucia when questioned by police? Future Hurley (and the rest of the Future Losties) is obviously hiding something. What could they have done that was so awful that they have to conceal everything that's happened? Or is he worried that police will find out he ran some peeps over with the Dharma van?
Dead Charlie -
So many questions. The other mental patient can see him too (or could he? Could other mental patient have been referencing another gawking person?), and Dead Charlie seems conscious of his freaky effect on Future Hurley, making him seem to have living qualities. Could Dead Charlie somehow be in some kind of death limbo? Maybe like Richard Alpert back on the island (hence why he doesn't age)? Or Christian Shepherd? Or any of the Losties? Does the island redefine what it means to be dead?
The Oceanic Six-
That phrase was the biggest bombshell of the episode. Who are the other three? We know so far that Hurley, Jack, and Kate take up the first three slots. We can't predict the other three based on who went with Locke and who went with Jack, since there's obviously a mix already. And I don't think the six are based on a group decision of which 6 need to get rescued first, otherwise Jack and Kate never would've gone with the first batch. They would've stayed to make sure everyone else got off ok. Here are my guesses:
#4 - Sawyer - because Future Kate mentions having to get back to "him". And I really want it to be Sawyer.
#5 - Claire - because if the Losties had any say in who gets rescued first, she's at the top of the list. Not only does she have the baby, but plenty of people know that Charlie gave his life to make sure she was on that chopper. Plus Desmond's flashback predicts that she will get on a chopper and be rescued. (I dont' think Aaron counts as the sixth)
#6 - Desmond - if for no other reason, because I believe his desperation to find Penny again will get him off that island at some point or another. But really, this is the wildcard slot. It could also be Sun, Sayid, or really anyone else.
Creepy Dude in Suit-
Ok so the guy who visits Charlie at the cuckoo's nest could be anyone - the island personified, a Hanso Foundation rep, a rep for whatever group the Others/Hostiles are a part of, the government of one country or another, Oceanic, etc. Way too early to call this one.
Things You Might've Missed:
-The man seated in Jacob's cabin is Christian Shepherd, Jack and Claire's father
-In the nuthouse there is an elaborate drawing of a shark attack, a boat, and an island on the chalkboard behind where Hurley's seated.
-Randy (Hugo's former slimeball boss) is seen filming Hugo's high-speed chase with a camcorder (that sill has the lens cap on!). WHY?
-The word or letters "HO" pop up frequently in this episode. Charlie appeared next to a rack of "HoHos", Jack only make it to "H-O" when playing HORSE, and there's a picture of the letters HO on the wall behind Hurley at the nuthouse.
Favorite quote of the episode: "Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John...." -Ben in full badass mode
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