Woolly Lists - Top Ten Celebrities That Might Win a Bear Fight!

10. Michael Jackson - detachable parts give him a clear advantage. Bear's got a hold of your nose? Pull the release tab and chuck it!

9. David Hasselhoff - offers the bear one drink, then they spend the rest of the afternoon tonguing regurgitated cheeseburgers and complaining about life.

8. Judge Judy - if she can smack down all those rednecks , then them thar bars are jus' fixin' to get a good wuppin'. I just want ONE bear to pee on her leg and tell her it's raining. Please, God.

7. Sting - because bears are classicly suckers for "Fields of Gold". And when Sting pulls out that lute...I'm sorry...can someone please hand me a tissue?

6. Victoria Beckham - cyborg parts are easily replacable at her nearest Jiffy Lube. And bears don't like silicone and gristle.

5. Steven Seagal - because he actually weighs more than a bear.

4. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - a quick sideways turn and the bear can't see them. Then as bear approaches, they skin bear alive and wrap themselves in the pelt.

3. Steve McQueen - even dead, he wins.

2. The Pope - a bear vs. the Popemobile. Popemobile clearly wins. It's got the bubble!

1. Chuck Norris - who else? Chuck Norris eats bears for breakfast.

Olsen picture cred