Woolly Lists - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Would Secretly Do if she Thought it Would Boost Her Polls

10. Beat the hell out of Bill with a sock of dimes...in some kind of public forum or entertainment venue.

9. Sleep with Mitt Romney...just to publically prove that he actually is gay.

8. Legally change her name to...Hillary Clinton: Agent of Change.

7. Spontaneously start crying at every press conference...then say "excuse me, let me just..." and pull out a bottle of midol, a chocolate bar, and a tampon, placing them on the podium.

6. Hang out with Britney at gas stations...and every time Brit-Brit flashes her hootchie-coo, Hill will jump in to the shot and give a thumbs up and a smile.

5. Knife fight with Oprah.

4. Release her own rap album under the name White Bread...entitled "White Bread Lady is Wiggity-Wiggity-Wack" in order to prove that she is, in fact, more black that Barrack.

3. Disembowel a puppy.

2. Pierce her nipples... put on a catwoman costume, and whip the Lincoln Memorial after tonguing the Declaration of Independence.

1. Make out with Elizabeth Kucinich.

thumbs-up photo cred

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 8