Lost Bingo!

That's right, it's Lost Bingo! Enhance your Season 4 premiere viewing experience by printing out these cards and playing at home as the episode airs!

Yep, I'm just that crazy that I actually made Lost Bingo Cards.

Sawyer holds a gun?

Charlie's spirit appears?

Someone says the Numbers?

BINGO!

You can join the crazy too by downloading the PDF I've created below. There are 6 different cards in all. Print 'em. Share 'em.(Just give me credit for my work, please).

DOWNLOAD YOUR LOST BINGO CARDS HERE!

Woolly Lists - Top Ten Lost Mysteries That Are Eating Away at my Brain

10. What is with the whole "illness" story?

9. How did Claire find out that long straight bangs would be the hottest Hollywood hair trend of the future? And who did she get to give her this new cut and style on the island?

8. Why are The Black Rock and Yemi's plane in the middle of the jungle?

7. Who was in that coffin? And why does Jack care sooo much if he isn't friend or family?

6. Why hasn't Richard aged since the 70s? How old is he exactly?

5. Who are the Others/Hostiles? And why on earth did they hate the Dharma peeps so much?

4. What IS that security system? aka the black smoke monster. And why does it flash in front of people like a camera? And if it's smoke, why can't it go into tree roots where people are hiding?

3. What do the Numbers mean? Why those numbers?

2. Who in the sam hill is Jacob? Why does he ask Locke for help?

1. What do you mean, "They found Flight 815, there were no survivors"?? I can only assume at this point that Naomi was lying. But what if she wasn't??

Hallelujah!

It's here. The day I've been waiting eight agonizing months for.


The poster pretty much says it all.

In case you missed it last night, the recap episode was phenomenal. CBS aired the season finale, "Through the Looking Glass" ala Pop-Up Video and had tidbits of recap and easter eggs popping up on the screen for us. Kudos - definitely the most entertaining recap episode I've seen of any show. I was glued to the tv, and I had just watched that very episode only one week ago (oh, Charlie!).

And here's something else you may have missed, the outstandingly hilarious (and sexy) commercials that ABC aired last night. Pretty risque - even for primetime!

There was at least also one other featuring Locke and the song "Crazy". I'll see if I can upload that later today if I find it posted anywhere. Way to go ABC!

Now don't forget:

Lost Season 4 Premier

Channel: ABC

Time: 9:00pm

(those who know me, if you value your life do NOT call me between 8:45-10:15pm EST)

poster cred

Super Happy Most Excellent Picture #4

Ok, I couldn't just leave you on a down note with that whole dirt pie depression, lookin' like a bunch of sad macks.

So to brighten your day, I bring you a Super Happy Most Excellent Picture that dares to dream:

"Orc & Mindy"

picture cred

Super Unhappy Most Not-So-Excellent Picture

Taking a short leave from the lighter side, I figured I really needed to post this picture for a wee bit of perspective now and then. Lest I complain about how awful my pizza rolls, Hamburger Helper, or frozen pot pie taste ever again, all I need to do is look at this picture.

This is the hand of a woman in Port-au-Prince who is preparing mud cookies. They're made of dirt, salt, and vegetable shortening. I guess food is running really low there and prices are naturally going up.

I can't even imagine how bad these must taste. There have to be some pretty hungry people for this to happen.

Sorry to bring ya down, but ya can't keep your eyes closed ALL the time.

Fun With Astronauts!

Sorry that this blog hasn't been quite as woolly as usual in the past few days. I've been away working on a Top-Secret Project that I shall reveal tomorrow for your amazement and horror.

In the meantime, here is a little bit of nonsense of the Askville Answer of the Week variety for you to enjoy. It answers an age-old question that I'm sure has been eating away at your brain.

And as always, if you're looking for me, you can always find me on http://www.askville.com/. Just ask for PenguinSage. Tell her the Hamburlgar sent ya!

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 1!!!

Share the Snow Program

IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT:

After receiving online complaints from individuals living in warmer climates regarding not ever having snow, I have begun the following program. Effective immediately, I am going to begin mailing garbage bags of snow.

If you live in a warm-climate area, you should expect to receive your garbage bag of snow within the week.

This way you can say you have snow, and I can get rid of mine. Everybody wins. Except maybe the people getting garbage bags of snow in the mail.


Thank you.

Super Happy Most Excellent Picture #3

Ok, so this is a nerd joke. I know it. You know it.

"Gandalf Says"

picture cred

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 6

Haiku for Heath Ledger

balding hunky star
plucked from his earthly penthouse
hair recedes no more

time with you was short
wasted on "The Patriot"
hammy, soulless film

Woolly Lists - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Would Secretly Do if she Thought it Would Boost Her Polls

10. Beat the hell out of Bill with a sock of dimes...in some kind of public forum or entertainment venue.

9. Sleep with Mitt Romney...just to publically prove that he actually is gay.

8. Legally change her name to...Hillary Clinton: Agent of Change.

7. Spontaneously start crying at every press conference...then say "excuse me, let me just..." and pull out a bottle of midol, a chocolate bar, and a tampon, placing them on the podium.

6. Hang out with Britney at gas stations...and every time Brit-Brit flashes her hootchie-coo, Hill will jump in to the shot and give a thumbs up and a smile.

5. Knife fight with Oprah.

4. Release her own rap album under the name White Bread...entitled "White Bread Lady is Wiggity-Wiggity-Wack" in order to prove that she is, in fact, more black that Barrack.

3. Disembowel a puppy.

2. Pierce her nipples... put on a catwoman costume, and whip the Lincoln Memorial after tonguing the Declaration of Independence.

1. Make out with Elizabeth Kucinich.

thumbs-up photo cred

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 8

Super Happy Most Excellent Picture #2

When stingers just aren't enough...

"Wasp Assassin"

photo cred

The week may be almost over...

....but I can still squeak in my Askville Answer of the Week. Thank you, Gods of Procrastination! For your viewing pleasure, this week I have a delicious post related to the Holy 1998 Pixie Stix.

It is a question I asked the community, so I'm showing you a couple of my favorite answers:

Now the best part of this post - did you notice what ad was generated for this question? Just above the answers? That's right, the sponsored link asks "Are you dumb?". Clearly the sponsors don't appreciate the magnitude of the Ancient Pixie Stix.

You can always find me on http://www.askville.com/. Just ask for PenguinSage. Tell her Large Marge sent ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Prehistoric Pixie Stix Found in Michigan Basement!

So, my latest news is big - rising of a relgious savior big! In the miraclulous holy ground that is my basement, another miracle has occured! The angels on high told me that before I could remodel my basement, I have to clean out my rat's nest of junk and Rubbermaid bins. Yeah, it really took angels for me to figure it out.

Then precious days ago I came upon the miraculous artifact - preserved in prestine conidtion in the bottom of a blue tote - unsoiled and unspoiled my the cruelty of time. The lights of heaven shone down on it, and is was a vision to behold. I had found - PIXIE STIX!

Not just any Pixie Stix, either: Glorious, ethereal Pixie Stix still sealed in their original package, with an expiration date of January, 1998!

Now I ask you, if you found 10 year-old Pixie Stix sealed and calling to you, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Sure, maybe a lesser woman would've thrown them out. Tossed them aside as if garbage. But not this woman! I recognized them for the treasures they are. I was presented with a rare opportunity - to test the natural effects of aged Pixie Stix on the human anatomy.

So I ate them.

Wouldn't you?

The orange didn't have much flavor. But the blue tasted very BLUE. (You'd understand what I meant if you tasted it!)

And then that night she had a stomachache.

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 12

Super Happy Most Excellent Picture #1

I find too many bizarre, intriguing, ass-slapping...(?)....pictures in my daily world wide web jaunts not to bring them together and share them with you. So here is my first in a series of Super Happy Most Excellent Pictures. Enjoy!

"Communist Party"

picture cred

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 15

Lovin' You is Easy 'Cause You're Beautiful...

doo n doo doo doo - aaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Thanks to the magical Land of Netflix I finally got to see "The Simpsons Movie" - the cinematic spawn of the series that I once was madly in love with. As of the past three or four years I had turned my back on the show though. I ranted about the show selling out to attention-clawing, blood-thirsty celebrities and shilling for FOX (ahem, Fantasia Barrino...). I couldn't watch one more "special guest star"-centered episode without removing my eyeballs with a shrimp fork.

But the celebuwhore-prodigal show has returned. And it's taken the form of a movie that is so clever, so classic, and so Simpsons that I fell in love all over again.

To wit, the lyrics of the movie's more-or-less theme:

Spider pig,
Spider pig,
Does whatever a spider pig does.
Can he swing from a web?
No he can’t.
He’s a pig.
Look out -
He is a spider pig.

Don't see the humor? See this video to understand.



Yes, that is really a song from the movie. Cheers to them for kicking the humor up a notch.

And to celebrate my renewed love affair for The Simpsons, I share with you my Simpsons alter ego. Apparently, this is what I would look like if I was a celebuwhore selling myself on The Simpsons (and hey, I am available Mr. Groening, just so ya know):

If you'd like to create a Simpsons you, here's a fabulous site where you can do just that.

So I'm off to put on my hair shirt for selling off my Simpsons Season 1-3 DVDs in anger. If you haven't seen this movie yet and have ever enjoyed an episode of The Simpsons, I highly recommend it. Thank you, Harry Plopper.

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 17

Self-Watering Plant UPDATE!

So it turns out that the self-watering plant may, in fact, have been a different type of miracle. Dare I say, a more impressive one!

It turns out that the plant is actually....

PROPHETIC!

Yesterday in the wake of torrential rains and a faulty sump pump, by basement FLOODED.

Hmmmm, just two days after my plant in the basement FLOODED.....coincidence?? I THINK NOT!

I think that plant was trying to tell me something! It was in cahoots with the sump pump and knew it was going to break down. It was trying to warn me - I can hear its tiny little voice: "Katie, get the halloween costume bin up off the floor, your Quentin Tarantino costume will be ruined - a FLOOD is coming! Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

Now, if only my plant will fill with tiny hundred dollar bills and look like a Maui vacation, I'll be smiling today.

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 21

Who wants to drink from the fire hose?

That's right, kiddies! It's time for the Askville Answer of the Week, brought to you by rich chocolatey Ovaltine.

I hear that a certain cat named "Mr. Tinkles" nearly won on the Republican ticket in the Iowa primary.

You can always find me on http://www.askville.com/. Just ask for PenguinSage. Tell her The Hamburglar sent ya!

Number of days until the new season of Lost: 23

Behold, the Amazing Self-Watering Plant!

Ladies and gentleman, I have quite a treat for you - what you see below is the world's first self-watering plant! Ooh at its intrigue, Aah at its wonder!

I give you - Fred the Kalanchoe plant!

Ok, so this plant actually comes from my basement - currently a dark pit of construction mayhem. It has a quiet little life under a functioning plant light where it gets watered, maybe every 2-3 weeks. Well, it hasn't been watered in about 3 weeks now, and lo and behold - the freakin' thing is flooded. Yes, it's water. (I did a smell test). No, it didn't come from pipes above, spillage from elsewhere, leakage from anything. No other surfaces around it are wet (dust is still settled around it), and nearby plants are still desert-dry. Just me and my husband in our house - so it cannot be anyone else.

Oh, the mystery! I'll post an update soon to see if the flood subsides.

Woolly Lists - Top Ten Celebrities That Might Win a Bear Fight!

10. Michael Jackson - detachable parts give him a clear advantage. Bear's got a hold of your nose? Pull the release tab and chuck it!

9. David Hasselhoff - offers the bear one drink, then they spend the rest of the afternoon tonguing regurgitated cheeseburgers and complaining about life.

8. Judge Judy - if she can smack down all those rednecks , then them thar bars are jus' fixin' to get a good wuppin'. I just want ONE bear to pee on her leg and tell her it's raining. Please, God.

7. Sting - because bears are classicly suckers for "Fields of Gold". And when Sting pulls out that lute...I'm sorry...can someone please hand me a tissue?

6. Victoria Beckham - cyborg parts are easily replacable at her nearest Jiffy Lube. And bears don't like silicone and gristle.

5. Steven Seagal - because he actually weighs more than a bear.

4. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - a quick sideways turn and the bear can't see them. Then as bear approaches, they skin bear alive and wrap themselves in the pelt.

3. Steve McQueen - even dead, he wins.

2. The Pope - a bear vs. the Popemobile. Popemobile clearly wins. It's got the bubble!

1. Chuck Norris - who else? Chuck Norris eats bears for breakfast.

Olsen picture cred