Holy Guacamole!

Is it just me, or is something a little off about this map below? I can't quite put my finger on it. Michigan's looking well - check. Canada seems fine - check. New England's still attached in case I ever need clam chowdah - check. Florida, the flaccid wang of the U.S., is still hangin' low - check.


Oh man, when did we lose the Southwest of this country? Apparently the diplomats over at Absolut Vodka have decided to redraw Mexican borders to make it an "Absolut World". But what about us gringos in America? No more Vegas? No more Hollywood? No more Texas?

Wait a minute...this idea's starting to sound better and better. Ok, let's make a trade. You can keep Texas, California, and all of that deserty area. But in the Northeast here, we get free Vodka for the next 20 years. Do we have a deal?

I will accept my first case of vodka in the mail as consent. If you send crates of orange juice too, I will throw in Kentucky and Tennessee.

But really, who would've guessed that Big Vodka would've annexed the U.S. for Mexico? I always assumed that when a Vodka company finally annexed us it would be for Mother Russia. Am I right, comrades?