Lost Thoughts: Cabin Fever

Now this episode feels like old times. It's like putting on your old fuzzy slippers. Lost, if you're not careful I could just fall in love with you all over again.

Here's what I noticed during this episode:

Mr. Tom Sawyer Likes 'Em Young -
We met 16-year old Ms. Locke tonight, as she's running off to meet a certain li'l con artist we all know and love. Of course, only she knows she's 5-6 months pregnant at the time with our favorite baldy, John. Or could Mr. Sawyer have known? Any chance he was the one driving the car that hit her? If he's willing to launch his own son out a highrise window, I wouldn't put it past him to twist his evildoer moustache and run down the little prostitot with his car.

Going Faster Than a Roller Coaster -
A little personal excitement here: The episode kicks off with Ms. Locke playing the Buddy Holly song, "Everyday". That just happens to be my song - it's been my theme song since before I was born. It was almost eerie for it to appear here in my favorite show like this, heralding the entrance of the show's hero. Hooray!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Richard Alpert -
My favorite eyeliner-wearing Other makes a most unexpected and giggle-inducing appearance tonight at the hospital bassinet of our young Locke. And as we see through John's life, Richard routinely checks in on him and attempts to recruit or test him for a Mittelos Bioscience "project". So did the Island know John was special from the moment he was born? The Island must've sent Richard, sealing the notion that this has always been Locke's destiny.

Get Me the Number of His Surgeon -
Why the heck hasn't Richard Alpert aged? We already knew that he was exceedingly good looking for his age after seeing him in the late 60s looking grown-up and unchanged. But he was that way back in the early 50s, too?? How old is Richard Alpert? Does he go back hundreds of years? Or more?

Dead Man Walking -
Maybe Richard didn't discover any fountain of youth. Is Richard Alpert already dead? We've recently seen many dead people taking on work for the Island. I'm thinking it's pretty likely that Richard's one of them. But how long ago did he die, then?

I've Cracked It! -
Here's the the question about Richard being dead for these many decades: Are all of the Others dead also? I believe Ben is still alive (hence the tumor). And they have a few live helpers (like Juliet and the pregnant women they experimented on ). But I'm starting to sense that the rest of the group - the ones who wanted the DI eliminated, the ones who asked Ben to join them, and the ones who are holding children hostage (or their spirits hostage, at least) - that they're all teats up. Maybe that's one of the Island's big secrets. It's a ghost island! That would sure explain all the creepy jungle whispers. And what the heck Miles the Angry Ghostbuster is doing on the Island.

Well, that's nicely wrapped up. I've clearly solved it. Show's over. Time to go to bed.

Ooh, a Knife! -
Poor Little Locke didn't have a chance when Richard gave him that little Island test. Even our very special Locke isn't a lame enough kid to claim that a bottle of sand, a beat-up compass, a book of laws, or even a comic was his. Of COURSE he goes for the knife! And wasn't it the right answer?

And I don't buy for one second that Alpert was really as disappointed as he let on - otherwise he wouldn't have continued to track Locke. And besides, that sketch of Smokey the Monster eating a man sealed the deal, I think. I know it creeped me the eff out.


"Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do!" -
Who else talked along with this line tonight during the teenage years flash? Com'on, I know we weren't the only ones. That line's become a very powerful anthem for our baldie.

Go On a Walkabout -
Richard Alpert has some competition - he's not the only one trying to recruit Locke to play a role in the Island's fate. Matthew Abaddon (who recruited all the Boaters and tried to ply Hurley for information after his "rescue" from the island) shows up and tries to get Locke into the Island business by suggesting he go on a walkabout. And since we all know (as does the Island) that Pre-Island Locke is completely susceptible to the power of suggestion, this is liking shooting fish in a barrel.

I See an Airplane in Your Future -
What puzzles me about Abaddon's suggestion and clairvoyance, is how does he know what will happen to Locke if he tries to go on a walkabout? Every outward appearance is that Abaddon's working for Papa Widmore, not the psychic Island full of dead people. So where's he getting his psychic information? Is he really working for the Island instead? (Does the Island see the need for double agents?)

Don't Rock the Boat, Baby -
Back on the boat, Keamy's getting a little nutty. First off, he's hella-pissed that Ben knew his name and information. Why? So, a little bug-eyed Island man of mystery knows your middle name is Christopher. It could've been worse. It's not like your middle name is Mervyn or something. But man, are those people on the boat going to pay for his middle name getting leaked (and you know, also for standing in his way from destroying the Island...that, too).

BAM! Down goes the Boater Doc. BAM! Down goes the Captain. So long, Cappy.

Sorry, Michael's Off Limits -
Commando Keamy tried to cap Michael (by the way have you noticed that janitors on this show are always really disgruntled men? Roger Linus? Michael?). But the Island wasn't havin' any of it. Just like in the alley with Mr. Friendly, the gun jams. Michael owes the Island for his life about eight times over now. And Keamy owes Michael a new pair of undies.

Let Me Just Check My Script, Here -
Before Commando Keamy heads back out to the Island, he first grabs a "second protocol" out of the safe - presumably from Papa Widmore. Why does the cover have a Dharma Initiative logo on it? Were the Dharma Initiative people really just innocent bystanders?

Rescue Raft Saves the Day -
Well, I'm just assuming that Sayid and his rescue raft are going to save the day. How else are the Oceanic Six getting off that freakin' Island? My gut's saying it won't be in that helicopter filled with psychotic army commandos strapped tight with explosives and hell-bent on razing the Island. I'm voting for Sayid's dinghy as the winner here.

Horace the Friendly Ghost -
Back on the Island...oh, look - there's Horace Goodwill, our favorite dogooder/sucker who was killed by Ben and his Island ghost posse 12 years before. Horace's spirit apparently still has his balls in his wife's purse, because he's spending his afterlife perpetually building a getaway cabin "for the missus". But at least we know who built the travelling Ghost Cabin. The most priceless moment of all in this sequence, though, was seeing Ben's guilty face looking at Horace. We knew that Horace was the one person Ben felt remorse for indirectly killing, since he was the one dead person whose eyelids he closed right after the Purge.

Christian Becomes an Other -
Not only has Christian Shepard become an Other Ghostie, but it seems that he climbed the ranks pretty quickly since he's acting as Jacob's press agent. Why is Christian being esteemed so greatly? I think it's a pretty safe assumption now though, that you become an official Other if your dead body is on the Island.

Claire? -
So this is where Claire is, and will always be. In a creepy cabin jungle with an ugly dog painting. It looks to me that Claire is dead and her spirit is chilling with her father's spirit. Did Claire die in the house explosion? My money's on yes. Her spirit confusedly travelled onward with her party not realizing her fate until her papa showed up to guide her.

Mama Issues -
Just in time for Mother's Day, I'm starting to string together a new set of parental issues for this show. We've already clearly seen the big-time daddy issues the characters have (Locke's homicidal papa, Sawyer's homicidal/suicidal papa, Penn's homicidal papa, Sun's homicidal papa, Jin's shameful lying papa, Kate's alcoholic abusive papa, Jack's alcoholic abusive papa, Claire's alcoholic abusive papa, Ben's alcoholic neglectful papa, Hurley's abandoning papa, etc.).

But now I'm starting to see that the mother's aren't real peaches either. They seem to have troubles staying in their Island kiddo's lives:

• Ben - mother dies after childbirth
• Claire - mother goes into terminal coma after car crash
• Jin - prostitute mother abandons her son and then extorts him for money
• Shannon - mother dies, stepmother turns her back on her penniless stepdaughter
• Alex - mother is inexplicably not present for the bulk of her mystery life
• Kate - mother turns her back on criminal daughter and then dies of cancer
• Locke - mother turns her back on him after his birth, foster mother has no faith in him

Ok, so maybe it's not a universal formula that applies to every character, but I think this episode's new thread in the damaged quilt of motherhood is definitely Lost's way of saying "Happy Mother's Day!"

Best Line of the Episode:

"Destiny is a fickle bitch" -Benjamin Linus describing to Locke how the Island's favor may change some day

Things You Might've Missed:

• Ben and Hurley shared an Apollo candy bar.


• Hurley was mumbling "mallowmars!" in his sleep.


• Teenage Locke had a Geronimo Jackson poster in his locker: the fictitious band that everyone around the Island seems to enjoy.


• Teenage Locke also had a picture in his locker of the famous explorer, Sir Richard Burton.


• Richard Alpert describes himself to little boy Locke by saying: "I run a school for kids who are... extremely special, and I have reason to believe that you might be one them." This is a quote from X-Men. It is the line Charles Xavier uses to recruit mutants into his school.


• Horace Goodspeed was a Dharma Initiative Mathematician.


• When Locke tells Hurley that they have to make a pit stop, it actually is at a pit. Ha!


• Based on the number of years Horace has been dead, the Purge would've occurred on December 19, 1992.