The Powerful Katie Will Now Use Her Powers of Brain Control

Because my sister complains so much about too few posts on this site, you have now all incurred the wrath of the Great and Powerful Katie. As your punishment, I will now get a song stuck in your head that will drive you bonkers for at least 24 hours.

(you have to actually click and watch the video below for the Great Katie's powers to take effect. Click. Now. The Katie commands you!)

You Complete Me.

Hey folks, not to worry. Fearless leader here is still around and hunting for woolly items to tantalize you. But what with Tyra not publicly pooping her pants lately, and no major celebrity rehab incidents, pickins are slim.

Plus this baby thing keeps following me around. Demanding food. Demanding play. Demanding a new diaper.

So what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry that the posts have been at a trickle as of late. But if you like, I have about 9,000 other excuses just waiting in the hopper in case the ones above don't work for you.

As always guys, thanks for reading.

The Nerd in Me

Oh how sweet it is. Acrhaeologists have long debated the existence of an ancient mythological creature - the nerd. And now, finally, science has proof that us dorks have roots that go as far back as Ancient Rome.

Behold, a D-20 (or for you normal types, a 20-sided di, commonly used to play to play D&D - or Dungeons & Dragons). Our heritage is deep and strong, and our nerd veins flow with the blood of royalty.

Reports say that it is "unclear" what games this di was used for. But I think we all know. Even if science is trying to deny it. You know that Marcus Aurelius used this very di to cast Magic Missile.

And if you know what I mean by that, you rock.

Alexander Hamilton Hates Aaron Burr

I know it's a little early for your 4th of July present, but since the idgets in my neighborhood think it's time for fireworks already, I might as well let Uncle Sam drop this down your chimney.

Here, my friends, is a drunken history lesson*. Really. Starring Juno's Michael Cera.

*I've become aware that this video isn't always playing as it should. Stupid not-YouTube people. If you can't view it above, go to this link to see it directly:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/68f23e244b

Now if only they could capture that kind of magic in a bottle for network television, then we'd have something real to consider at Emmy time. I wonder if PBS has heard about these guys. Faboo.

The Amazing Sleep-Standing Baby!

I have a secret to tell you. This isn't the first blog post I've done about this. I've been cheating on you. I already posted this on my other blog, http://www.woollymom.com/. I'm sorry. I never take you out to dinner or tell you how pretty you are anymore. And that's my fault.

But I have to share this with you anyway. I adore my crazy baby girl who refuses to nap unless absoultely forced - except on boats, apparently.

For Father's Day we went out on my Father-in-Law's pontoon boat and spent some time cruising around the lake. My baby girl loved it for the first trip - sticking her tongue out and licking the wind. Then the second time out, she was past her naptime so I knew she might get sleepy.

I just had no idea when my husband leaned her up against the armrest on the boat, that the second the boat engine started, she'd be out. And I mean OUT.

While standing up.

Seriously, she is sound asleep in both of these pics

Eventually we tipped her over so she slept on her back for the rest of the trip. And she never noticed she had moved. If only I could learn to sleep like that!

At Least He Didn't Have to Eat Octopus

Most of Michigan is still celebrating the Red Wings' Stanley Cup championship. And just in case it wasn't sweet enough, here is the result of a bet placed between Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, and Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell (whose Penguins were matched against the Wings in the Stanley Cup finals).

We see Governor Rendell enjoying a (popular Michigan mainstay) Faygo Rock-and-Rye pop, a comfy Wings jersey, and posing with a Wings bumper sticker and some Kowalski sausages. All straight from Michigan with love.

I'm Fixin' To Win Me Some Goodies!

If there's anything I love in this world almost as much as free swag, it's contests that give away amazing prizes.

So I have to bring this one contest to your attention. It's being hosted by John Chow, of the amazing www.johnchow.com. The prizes include:

• golf shirts
• t-shirts
• flip video camera
• $200 Amex Rwards card
• USB drive that is also a pen
• iPod Nano

All of these goodies - of which I would be THRILLED to win (you hear me, guys?) - are sponsored by the peeps over at http://www.marketleverage.com/.

If you'd like to enter, just head on over to this link at John Chow's site:

http://www.johnchow.com/win-a-market-leverage-bag-of-stuff/

Just read all about the contest, post a comment, and you're entered! Good luck to all of you woolly readers. I hope one of us wins (especially me!).

Something New For You

Phew! It's been a crazy couple of weeks. In case you're wondering why your favorite blogger has been a bit distracted - it's not scurvy or rickets (as you may have guessed).

Instead, I'm in the process of launching a new blog, a little sister for this blog. It is called:

www.woollymom.com

and it's a great blog about my daily ramblings and revelations as a frazzled mom, trying to figure out this whole parenting thing.

If you're a parent - especially a new one - stop on by and see how a little bit of sass and humor might just help us all figure out how to raise our kids right. I'd really appreciate your visit and your comments. I'll see you there.

Rest easy though, this blog is still very near and dear to my heart. And it's not going anywhere. So sit back and enjoy the really disturbing videos, products, and images I bring to you next!

Shun the Non-Believer

There are times when I'm really at a loss for words over something I've seen on the Internet. That's where I'm at right now. I just saw one messed-up video. Messed up as in, I wonder if I've been drinking and forgot about it. Yeah, that kind of messed up. So here it is. A real viewing experience - Charlie the Unicorn.

No matter what you think it's going to be like, it's not.

I think I like this video. A lot. But I'm really not sure.

If you have any distinct emotions - one way or another - about this film, please leave a comment on this post. Oh, and thanks to my friend over at http://www.webmastersedge.net/ for warping my mind with this brilliance.

Hey-ey Hockeytown!

Hooray for the 2008 Stanley Cup Champions - the Detroit Red Wings!

My hometown boys did a phenomenal job this season (just as long as I promised to not watch any of the games....it turns out I'm a jinx). They clinched their Stanley Cup win on Wednesday night in a match against the Pittsburgh Penguins.

But that's not the real story, here. At least, it's not the real funny story here.

You see, my Wings love to par-tay. More than once in the past couple days, I've seen them take the microphones away from local reporters interviewing them, just so they could drunkenly start slurring sweet nothings to a chuckling tv audience.

And that's all before they headed off to celebrate at Cheli's Chili in downtown Detroit - a local restaurant/bar owned by Red Wings defenseman Chris Chelios. Once at the restaurant, my wonderfully drunk hockey heroes ascended to the roof of the restaurant - and in the act of events still unexplained - they accidentally dropped the Stanley Cup off of the roof of the building. Way to go, guys!

Apparently the cup handler had to be called in for emergency repairs to a sizable dent in the side of the cup. Worry not, though; the cup has been repaired and is (almost) good as new.

I don't think I could be any prouder of those guys if I tried.

Ready to bug out your eyes at a picture?

Then take a look at this unbelievable photo:

This was taken as a car smashes into a group of bicyclists participating in a race in Matamoros, Mexico on Sunday.

Boy, I would tally that up to be about 1,590 "points". But then I found out that one person was killed in the "accident", so that would probably be pretty inappropriate. Wouldn't it?

What a Week! Recap

Boy, I've sure been missing the boat on posts lately. But so much to do, so much to see - I've got to learn to take more time and blog about the roses. So since this week has been a terrifying fun cavalcade of insanity, I thought I'd recap it neatly for you in one post:

Day One - Trees come down in my yard. It's like some kind of testosterone-packed chainsaw massacre that laid waste to my yard, in every positive way possible. I cheered heartily - especially when the giant Ash tree toppled like a mighty giant. Sometimes nothing puts you in a better mood than carnal destruction!

Day Two - Found places in my yard to stuff 28 wheelbarrow loads of wood chips like Mr. Bean spitting steak tartar down a violinist's pants.

Day Three - Saw picture of these men, and nearly choked on my Twizzler Bits:
Yes, they're wearing thongs on their faces during a robbery in Colorado. Nice going, rednecks!

Day Four - Realized my flats of marigolds died before I could plant them, all because I got distracted, decided I needed to inflate my pancakey basketball, spent all night looking for the pump, and then remembered that I don't like playing basketball anymore. It's too "movey".

Day Five - Still high from the Lost finale, went out to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, and had more than a few Wallaby Darneds, compliments of the bastahds at Hanson's Windows.

Also, Rachael Ray apparently wears a scarf that has little hidden subliminal swastikas sewn into the fabric...or something like that. Fox News chick is angry and yelling racist things. I tuned out.

Day Six - Lost badly at Mario Kart. Stupid tequila.

Day Seven - Bought a ginkgo tree which I pray will grow to look a little like the Baobabs in "The Little Prince".

And Kelsey Grammer has a heart attack. So I'm forced to repeatedly watch the video of him falling off that stage over and over. Still funny. But probably not good for his heart.